Quietly Brave: A Social Anxiety Memoir

♡ Comforting Someone ♡

I struggle to comfort someone when they're experiencing grief or heartache.

I never know the right things to say and it's a form of social anxiety for me. This is how the internal monologue goes:

Oh, crap, they're crying. Ask if they're okay.

*I ask if they're okay and they shake their head*

"What's wrong?"

*they tell me what's wrong*

"I'm sorry."

Should I give them a hug?

But what if they don't like to be hugged when they're upset?

I'm just an overthinking mess throughout this whole interaction. I fear confrontation, and that includes being confronted with someone who is sad, angry or grieving.

If I'm feeling stressed, depressed or anxious, I read a fantasy book or watch tv shows or find some way to distract myself. When someone else is stressed or sad, I try and distract them (the same way I do with myself) but they see it as me being abit insensitive and changing the conversation.

I've felt like I have to research how to be human. It doesn't come naturally to me.

My search history is:

"How to comfort someone" and "reassuring things to say to someone who's going through a difficult time" and I got the following suggestions:

Invite them to share

"I've noticed you haven't seemed yourself lately, is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"If you feel like sharing, I'm here to listen."

Acknowledge their struggles

"It sounds like you're going through a tough time right now."

"I'm really sorry you're feeling this way."

Avoid offering immediate solutions; focus on understanding

"Do you have any thoughts on what you might do next?"

"Is there anything I can do to support you?"

Offer reassurance and check back in later

"I want you to know I'm here for you."

"You mentioned dealing with this a little while back... how are things going now?"

I wanted to save this chapter as a way for me to refer back to this when I need to comfort a friend.

♡ What's your go-comforting things to say/do with a friend? ♡