Nerd?

Chapter 11

My second month at my fathers place had gone by even faster than the first.
I was starting school today and I've been having panic attacks for the past week. But Harry is the most amazing boyfriend and has been with me for the hole time. He wouldn't leave my side besides for at night, which is when I have most of my panic attacks because my mind can be really mean when I'm alone with it.

My dad is coming back form where ever he was, in four days. Which I'm kind of scared about.
Valerie ignores me, but most of the time she just glares at me because if she does anything Alex reports it straight to Ben who says something to her.
But Amber is another story. She's fucking horrible. I swear she's trying to make my life a living hell, and I'm terrified of going to the same school as her.

But my dad won't do anything to make her stop. He says it's just what girls are age do. He's Delusional.

His wife is 20 years younger than him, and was probably around 13 when she gave birth to her daughter. She's a fucking whore! And has pasted the whore genes onto her daughter.
Amber brings random guys home every week.
I'm so surprised she's not pregnant or has an STD.

Over the month I haven't eat  sry we'll, and stuck to my diet, I able to lose a lot of weight.
I've lost 15kgs And am down to 65! But I'm still fat. At least I think I am. I still haven't looked in the mirror. I can't face that reality. I'm to much of a coward.
I could tell I had lost weight because my clothes were starting to get really baggy on me, and if I hadn't lost any then I would be worried. All I ever do now is work out and hang out with ether Harry or Alex. I do boxing on Thursdays and Mondays.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I started boxing.
Yeah. I can defend myself, I'm losing even more weight from it, and it will help boost my 'bad girl' reputation. Which I'm not sure I want to be any more. Harry loves me for me. So maybe I should stay me.
But if I'm a 'bad girl' no one will mess with me. I won't have to put up with crap and I won't have to talk to people.

I was dressed in ripped jeans and a 'pierce the vail' t-shirt.
That's practically what my closet consists of. I have three pares of ripped jeans, five band shirts, yoga pants (I use for working out) along with my exercise top.

It's not like I can get my dad to buy me clothes so I have my own job.
I clean at a cafe. I didn't get the waitress job I applied for. I think it's because I wasn't pretty or skinny enough.
Any way I have a job and that's all that matters.

Anxiety had consumed me and I had to keep on taking breaths from my inhaler so I could breath.
My chest was in so much pain, and I was beyond terrified. What if they all hate me? What if this school is like the last and drives me to cut myself again?

Alex walked into my room and once he saw me his eyes went bigger in surprise. "I should have expected this" he said running to my side.
"I'm sorry" he said. I couldn't reply, but I wanted to say he had nothing to be sorry about. It was me and my stupid self, that was at fault for this. Not him.

We sat there for a few minutes before I could finally breath. The pain in my chest, Barely there.
I forgot how amazing breathing could be.
"Are you ready. You can wait until tomorrow if your not" Alex said nervously. I took one last deep breath before looking at him.
"Alex, I'm fine. Honestly. I'm already starting school on a Wednesday, a month after the holidays. I need to go today" I ranted.
"Ok, ok. Let's go then" he said raising his hands in surrender. I laughed and grabbed my black backpack, stuffing my inhaler in it along with a few other necessities.

Alex drives me to school since Harry had already left, along with Amber because she didn't want to stake a car with me.

We past through the haunting school gates, and parked in a car park that was a walk away from the front.
"Why are you parking here? There's car parks even closer?" I asked confused.
"People park in a spot at the beginning of the year, and it becomes there spot for the rest of the year. I was late the first day" he explained.
"Right" I laughed.
I got out of the car and walked up to the school with Alex by my side.
I felt a little confidence oz out of me. I had Alex. Today was going to be fine.