A Murder Of Crows [boyxboy]

A Murder Of Crows {23}

                Keeping Jamison distracted for the evening wasn't hard. He texted me after his run with Nia, and I met up with the Crows for dinner.

                I tried to be a little more talkative, but it wasn't much. Still, Jamison noticed the effort, and tried to help me into the conversations.

                Once dinner was over, I invited Jamison back to my room to do our homework together. He happily joined me, and I knew Cole was headed to Val's room to study with her.

                So the two of us went into my room together, and Jamison made himself comfortable on my bed. I sat at my desk, taking my schoolwork out.

                "Hey, Cor," Jamison said after we'd been working in silence for a bit.

                "Hm?" I didn't bother looking up from the worksheet I was doing.

                "Sorry to distract you while you're working, but I think we should talk," he said.

                He sounded a little more serious than usual, so I looked up, giving him my attention. Was this about the Collectors? Was it about Kieran being off campus? He'd surely signed off by now, and I'm sure someone had alerted Jamison to it.

                "Have you ever dated before?" he asked, which caught me completely off guard. Okay, this was not the conversation I'd been expecting.

                "I...No, I haven't," I said, hating the wild way my heart beat. Was he going to ask me to...?

                "Me either," he said, sighing and rubbing the back of his neck. "I put all my focus into school and the Crows. I guess I isolated myself. I stuck to my little friend group and never gave my full attention to any boy. I was too busy. But school doesn't last forever. I've been thinking a lot lately, about how I need to stop focusing so much on my work and give myself a chance with other things. With other people."

                It was a nice speech and all, but I was still internally freaking out a little. Kissing him was one thing. Kissing him wasn't a commitment. But dating someone? That required trust and effort and promises I wasn't sure I could keep in my current position.

                But Jamison seemed to notice my panic. "Oh, hey, I'm not saying we need to date right away. I think both of us need to take this slow. But I just want to know if this is something that can become more."

                Could it become more? I thought hard, thought about the future and where I would go. I wanted to get away from here for college so I could escape the Doctor and the Collectors and people like Val. Could I really handle a relationship? Would it work?

                I closed my eyes. This was what I wanted, wasn't it? A chance at something more? A chance to let my emotions run free and logic to take a backseat for once?

                I thought of my parents. They did so much together, but I'd never seen them acting like the couples I saw on TV. They didn't hold hands and kiss and tell each other they loved each other. They would just sit next to each other and read, their knees touching just the slightest. Dad would have dinner ready when mom got home and they'd eat together outside. They'd take walks around the neighborhood on nice days. Mom would find the books dad needed and stack them on his desk. They'd research together for hours, sometimes barely speaking a word.

                It was quiet. It was companionship with something stronger underneath.

                "Yes," I said, opening my eyes. I wanted it to be something more. I'd always loved to learn, and there seemed to be so much Jamison could teach me.