Going To Marry You Anyway ↠ McCall {EDITED}

[v] less confidence

chapter five - less confidence

"Yeah, I know that it hurts to see me like this but it gets worse."

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DURING lunch the next school day, I was enjoying my lunch peacefully with my friends until Jackson decided to show up at the table with his girlfriend. To make things more awkward than it already is, Lydia began to flirt with Jackson so much to the point where I wanted to humiliate the both of them.

Before any of that happened, unfortunately, my phone received a text message from my best friend back home, Riley.

Riley🚮
School's closed down because someone found a dead body near campus

I stared at the text that was sent to me, trying to comprehend the full sentence. There was never, ever a dead body near the school for many years. I glanced up at Allison who was sitting across from me as I texted back to him.

Sabrina🆓
Whaaaatttt?? Did they figure out who it is?

I was deep in my thoughts when the bell began to ring for the next class. Everyone at the table stood up to throw out their food and to class before the late bell went to go and ring.

"Sabrina, wait up," I sighed to myself, knowing far too well who's that voice belonged to. Turning around, I looked up at Jackson and crossed my arms.

"Look, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't-"

"Stop, just stop." I said, looking at him with my face blank. "You think after everything we've been through, you thought it was alright to just suddenly leave? No, that's not how you leave your girlfriend who deeply cared and loved you. Obviously you didn't feel the same way I did." Jackson began to speak but I shook my head. At this point, everyone in the hallway turned their heads to listen to the conversation. "No, at this point you don't even deserve to be speaking to me. You don't deserve the love that I gave you during those three years. I was loyal and I was down for you."

My eyes were getting watery while I was talking about how I really felt. I tried to keep those hidden, kept away because I didn't want to feel heartbroken all over again. Heartbreak hurts. It hurts a lot more than what you would expect it to be. It's different from the break up songs, from the sad songs. Way, way different. A tear suddenly fell down my cheek.

"But all I got in return was heartbreak. My heart broke. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. Almost every single night. I guess all those three years really didn't mean anything to you, Jackson." I said, whispering the last few words and took a few steps closer to him. "And I hope you feel the pain that I felt last year, because it hurts." I looked at his eyes. I could see a hint of guilt in them, mostly hurt by the words I said to him. "I'm sorry, Rina," was all he ever said afterwards, using the nickname he gave me but I shook my head. "No, you're not."

I wiped my eyes and turned around, beginning to walk to the bathroom to let everything out. All those feelings I had for Jackson turned into hurt and I felt vulnerable. I didn't know who I could go to because I really didn't have any close friends here. I entered one of the stalls in the bathroom and closed the door, letting the tears fall from my eyes.

I came home from work, closing the door behind me. I was excited to see Jackson because I've been busy the past few days and I can finally give my undivided attention to him. I walked upstairs to my room to change out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable.

I was expecting a text message or two from Jackson but I didn't have any. Maybe he was already on his way, I thought to myself.
Messily put my hair in a ponytail, I walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat. I didn't even acknowledge the note that was placed on the fridge until I closed.

My nose scrunched up and peeled off the note from the fridge. I immediately recognized the writing; it was Jackson's.

Hey Rina, I couldn't do this face to face because I knew I wouldn't be able to have the guts to say this. I can't do this anymore. My family's moving to California for I don't know how long. I couldn't tell you this because the goodbye's would've been hard to do. This was already hard enough for me to write this note to you. I'm sorry that it ended like this and that this is our the end. I love you.
Love, J

So he left, just like that. I didn't see what the big deal was to say it in person. No, he had to write a note. He didn't even sound like he was sorry. It almost sounded like he wanted to leave this relationship for a while now. God, why am I so stupid to fall for him?

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After school, I went straight to Derek's place. I couldn't go through this alone again, I just know that I couldn't.

I pulled up and it's like he's been waiting for me to come for a while now. I got out of the car and ran to him, hugging him as tightly as I could and let everything out once more.

Derek sighed into my hair, trying his best to comfort me. "Jackson?" He mumbled. I cried even harder just by hearing his name. He sighed once more and mumbled, "I'm going to kill him."

I pulled away from the hug and looked at him with my red eyes. "No, you're not going to kill him. You can do whatever you want but you're not going to kill Jackson." I said, and he looked in my eyes.

"Sabrina, he broke you. I remember you telling me the story, and I don't want you to go through the pain all over again." He said and I gave him a small smile. "It's too late for that now, I guess."

Derek wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks, which earned a light giggle from me. "What?" He asked with a slight smile. "Don't turn soft on me, Hale," I pointed out and he shook his head, licking his lips.

"You're crazy if you think I'm going soft." He said and then continued. "Well we have training to do so I don't want any slacking today." I groaned in annoyance. "Can we just skip training and do something that's a little fun?" I asked and Derek raised an eyebrow at me.

"I guess that's a no," I mumbled.

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word count : 1149 words

published and edited on : september 29 2017

season : two