"Please eat"
I'm trying. Please stop staring.
I don't know how to take a bite without feeling the acid drip down my throat
don't know how to let my body become a home
don't know how to look into a mirror and not see a stranger's skin
"Why can't you just stop?"
With shaking fingers and blurred vision
I am exhausted.
you think I want this?
Want to light my body on fire and smile when the blisters arrive?
I am still learning how to take a fist to an empty stomach without carving out the sunken ship of a meal I am barely chewing down.
I am still Learning that the holy water dripping down my empty well stomach is not a heaven featured sensation, but is my body screaming a dried out thank you for even the smallest bit of care.
I Will swallow a mouthful of coal smoked words and look into the mirror.
Will wonder why forgiveness is needed for someone so empty And by empty, I mean your glass was half full but you saw the hope and shattered it.
And by beggar, I mean me and by me, I mean a ghost of something lost in yesterday who forgot about tomorrow and decided today just wasn't worth it.
So, the next time you open that locked jaw with A mouthful of pretty poison, Swallow it.
* Sincerely not your bitch
