I was sitting at home listening to some music after school. I heard the front door close and loud footsteps coming towards my room. The door flies opening revealing my dad with his eyes rimmed red.
"VERONICA TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN." He yells. I hurry off my bed turning the music off.
"I'm sorry Dad." He walks towards me pushing me down.
"SHUT UP." I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He raises his fist and he starts hitting me over and over again. I'm screaming and crying calling for Luke but he isn't there. I open my eyes and Luke is standing in my doorway staring at me.
"I hate you." I scream. He walks away no emotions showing on his face. I scream again but this time in on my bed sweat dripping off my forehead. I look around and it's dark and I'm alone. I wipe my tears off my face. It was just a dream I repeat in my head. I go to my bedside table opening up the drawer and taking Luke's phone out. I go into his contacts pressing on Ashton's name. It rings once before I hear his voice
"Luke?" I hear his voice choke out.
"Ashton it's Roni."
"Oh. Yeah of course. Uh are you ok?"
"Um no not really. Can you come over?"
He pauses. "Yeah sure I'll be over in a few." The line goes dead. I wait what seems like an hour until my bedroom door creaks open. Ashton steps in wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with a black beanie on. As soon as I see him I burst into tears of relief that I have someone. He rushes over to me holding me in his arms. He rocks me back and forth not asking what's wrong. It's been 2 months since Luke died and I've managed to only cry at his funeral. No one has understood and no one has been there for me so having Ashton there is just such a relief. All my emotions from these past 2 months are just all hitting me at once and I don't know how I would be able to deal with it all without him. I start to calm down and he slides down under the covers tugging me along with him. He pulls me into his side entwining out fingers.
"It's ok to cry." He whispers.
"I couldn't cry for so long. Like I tried and tried but it wouldn't happen. But now that you are here for me and we actually talked about him it's all becoming so real." I whisper back.
"Sometimes I feel like he's still alive."
"Me too.. He always wanted a certain funeral and my mom didn't know about it. He wanted really cool music and he wanted everyone to be happy."
"We should do it again for him."
"Do what? A funeral?"
"Yeah. Let's go to his grave and do another funeral. One he would have wanted." I laugh imagining us dancing around Luke's grave.
"People will think we are crazy."
"Well maybe we are." He smiles.
I sigh. "My mom barely gives me any space since Luke died."
"Understandable."
"She doesn't deserve to worry about me. She let my Dad abuse us."
"Yeah. But she's still your mom."
"I hate her." He's stays silent for awhile and I thought he fell asleep until he speaks.
"What happened the night Luke died?"
"We were arguing about him leaving me all the time. I had gotten pretty badly beaten up and I knew he had been sneaking out and I got mad. I don't even remember what he said but I told him I hated him. You should have seen the look on his face Ashton. Then he left and the next morning I woke up to the police banging on the door."
"It's my fault he was upset. It's my fault he's dead."
"Roni look at me." I look up at him, his eyebrows furrowed. "This is not your fault. Never think that ever."
I nod half convinced. "Ashton you don't understand how much this means, you being here."
"I know how you feel. It's nice to know I have a friend at 3 A.M" He sighs.
"Yeah it is." With that I snuggle up closer to him and we fall asleep holding onto each other with everything we have.
