Possibly.

New Problems

It was all coming back to me.
The reasons. Every last one of them as to why I knew better, but did it anyway. Thinking about how we didn't talk about the fact that I wasn't on birth control like I was all that time ago. Before, when we could get away with those things.

Feeling the water begin to turn cold, I stood up and turned the faucet off and let the shivers come to my body as the cold air embraced me. Reaching out for a towel, I wrapped myself up and fully stepped out. I looked at myself in the mirror.

My eyes weren't too puffy. Although, I hadn't allowed myself to cry for too long. Grabbing my toothbrush and slowly sliding the toothpaste along the bristles I looked at the marks along my neck. Physical memories. Bruises, if you will. Signs of the night that shouldn't have happened.

Brushing my teeth, I wondered, when's the next time I'm going to see him? Will she be with him? Will he even acknowledge me? How am I supposed to hide these marks from everybody? They already know who it came from. But, maybe not.

Rinsing my mouth out, and washing my face, I can only hope that maybe, just maybe, things can go on like they were before. When I was doing better without it. Without him.
Opening the bathroom door, shutting the light off and making my way down the hallway, I could smell Alyce's usual Sunday brunch floating in the air. I contemplated on entering the kitchen to eat away my sadness but ultimately decided against it. Making my way into my room finally, I collapsed on my bed completely drained of energy. And despite the hunger pangs that resided in my stomach, I crawled underneath my cover and went to bed.

By the time I had woken up, my phone was on three percent battery. I had two missed calls, a text message, and a few social media notifications from a few friends. He hadn't bothered to check up on me. He didn't care. Deciding to answer nature's call, I got up still wrapped in my towel and made my way back to the bathroom leaving my phone in its state, not bothering to respond to anyone. If it wasn't going to be him, I didn't want to talk.

Walking past Trevor's room I could hear the bass from whatever recent Drake song was released. Given that I wasn't necessarily a fan, I didn't bother to stay and figure out which song it was. After making my way to the toilet and relieving myself the thoughts began to creep back into my consciousness.

Was he even thinking about me? Is he with her right now? I wonder if she knows I was there. I can't believe I let this happen again. Even though it seems like the millionth time. My neck hurts.

Finishing up and flushing the toilet, I feel my heart begin to race and the tears spring to my eyes. I attempt to wash my shaky hands. I glance at myself in the mirror. The bags underneath my eyes have deepened. A sigh escapes my chapped lips. I want to lick them, but I don't.

A knock comes to the door. I hesitate to open it. I'm still not ready to face anyone. With my eyes glued to the handle, I respond with silence.

"I've gotta pee," a relatively familiar voice says.

"Give me a second," I manage to respond out of habit rather than courtesy.

The person on the other side responds with silence. This I find to be comforting, as I don't have to spend extra energy pretending. I dry my hands on the towel wrapped around my body and immediately regret it as my distaste for germs come to mind. I grab a paper towel and use it to turn the knob, tossing it immediately in the trash as soon as the doorway's wide enough for me to slip through into the hallway.

"Finally," the person muttered.

I wanted to turn around to respond, but in that moment my stomach lurched and I knew I needed to find something to fill it up and soon. As I made my way down the hallway I heard the bathroom door shut behind me. I tried to push past the thoughts as I frantically looked through the fridge in hopes of some leftovers. Finding none I retreated from the fridge and slammed the door in anger and defeat.