For many times you see the same date over and over again, seeing the people you most cared died in your very eyes. It's either you or Madoka that died and you know this will not end until both of you survives. But to achieve it is almost impossible as each reset causes your body to slowly deteriorate, you eyes, your ears, your limbs and perhaps even your mind will be in a worse condition than the last timeline.
Every time you seems to be successful, there's always a crack for failure to came in that situation. To the point that every conceivable method from making the five casts to survive the whole ordeal to uniting Magical Girls worldwide seems impossible, like mentioned before it's either you died or Madoka turns into Kriemhild Gretchen.
Your relationship with Homura also starts to turn stale with the consecutive failures despite your help, in the later stages she even outright ignores you, tired of the false hope you've been giving her and the fact your body became weaker and weaker and weaker.
You no longer know how many times you've been in the same time, the same place and the same situation. You felt like it's been years since the first time you're here, the confusion is nostalgic but the most soothing thing is when you first met everybody, the feeling of comfort and knowing that the anime characters as real is unbelievably wonderful but the thought that you are re-living those memories in the most bone-breaking and tiring ways has sickened you.
Nothing is important anymore, you felt like you've been manipulated by a greater force, you felt like you've been tormented by God. Now the only thing logical and important for you is to get back Homura's trust once more.
On the night few days before Walpurgisnacht arrives you knock on Homura's door, she opens it with a cold stare as you just smiled awkwardly at her "D-Do you have the time?" You ask nervously as she nods in silence.
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You sat on the colored chair-like platform as she sat in front of you, still staring at you with a pair pf cold eyes "Look, Homura-chan I know we haven't talked much and I just want to spend some quality ti-"
"Time? I don't have much time for this" she said with hostility on her tone as your voice starts to raise
"I still remember all the things that had happened Homura-chan, don't treat me like the others!"
"Then how do you want to be treated? Like someone who's weak and can die any moment they used their ability?"
Her sentences jabs your throats, you gulp down your saliva as you continuesm
"Homura! I was there when everything happened! I was there when you reset the time, I was there when you're suffering and I was there wh-"
"Then why did you keep dying!" she cries as she jumps and hugs you tight, tears starts to came from her eyes as you are left shock to see her cry like this again after a very long time "I was always worried about you, I was worried that you might die when you're fighting. You're always supported me to keep moving because you're the one knows all of this, you've been with my turmoil this whole time"
