Letters from India - Part 2

13. Venkamma's Training, Mataji's & Sarojamma's Ill Health - Sept 1989

New Money Purse made by Venkamma

September 1989

Prasanthi Nilayam

Om Sai Ram,

Ganesh day went off very well - finally, finally Swami let me stay for Ganesh day! This is the first year I’ve managed to be here for it.

Now not many crowds at all – not even 20 lines for Darshan line-up.

Venkamma is fine and continues to be extremely nice to me. I feel immersed. From 3:30 AM till after 9:30 PM I am busy. Every day I spend hours picking flowers & making garlands for Venkamma’s puja! It is soo nice to pick flowers. I say a prayer to each tree before I start, saying it’s for Venkamma, it’s for the Lord, and to please forgive me if it’s not right to pluck the flowers. Sometimes Venkamma comes out and we pick flowers together.

Meanwhile, the rest of the day is filled with Darshan and bhajan, cooking & cleaning. I'm still settled in the sheds. Very few people now.

They’re starting to beg me to return to do seva in the inside ashram shops again - I hope it doesn’t work! I'm so busy with Venkamma and it’s what makes me happy. I don’t want to tell them I'm with Venkamma so I just say foreigners shouldn’t work.

One day recently I came to Venkamma and she was just finishing sewing a small, multi-colored money bag (the kind that women put into their bras). She had even put draw-strings in herself. She examined it awhile then asked me how it was. I was amazed at how skillfully she did it! Then she handed it to me and announced she had sewn it just for me! (My money bag was made of old, dirty material and measured about 1 ½ by 1 inch). She said she had noticed how grubby and tiny was my saad money purse. Then she proceeded to remove all money, etc., from my old purse, put it in the new bag she had made, and gave it to me with much love. Sweet.

Ups and downs. Moksha takes a lot of time, isn’t it?

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya

____________________

Mataji and Sarojamma Ill

September 28, 1989

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear All,

Sun is shining and Sai gives nice Darshan (going far mostly, but at least coming regularly to the ladies side).

My days seem to be filled with Venkamma - perhaps this is a trick of Sai to get me to have some compassion for God, instead of just for people (does that make sense???). I see Venkamma’s human side but I sort of worship her as a Devi also. The free time I do have, I use to make vibhuti packs. She gives away almost more than I can make!

Mostly she’s alright with me lately, unless I say something stupid (somehow I seem to be more free in Telugu than in English, which is dangerous sometimes!) or accidentally do something wrong (easy because of the complex and intricate maze of Telugu/Indian customs & expectations).

For example, her grandson came from Bangalore. I can’t be in the house when he visits her (he's a gent!). He stays with his dad and step-mom in the village so doesn’t come really, except to say goodbye to Venkamma. So, for three full days she kept saying, “He’s going back to Bangalore tomorrow, so you better not be here, I don’t know when he’ll come.”

So I kept away, finally on the third day she made that announcement again, and I let it slip out in my wonderful Telugu, “Every day he’s going!” She went hysterical! As if I called her a liar or something. At that moment, I guess I failed a test of patience that maybe she was putting me through (it turns out he did go back to Bangalore the next day).

Onam (11th-12th-13th September this year) was wonderful here. It’s the one and only festival that I’ve never seen in all these 5 years. It was worth the wait! The Kerala people are so quiet and reserved and disciplined and have such a nice, devotional vibration. I notice that when the Kerala Seva-Dal are here, they don’t have the heart to yell at people or push people about. This causes galata when people sneak into lines that are going – the Kerala Seva Dal simply watch, staring blankly!

On the 13th in the afternoon was the Ganesh procession (this was the 9th day since the Ganesha was installed for worship on Ganesh day). All the students & pundits picked up the mud Ganesh from the Ganesh temple, then proceeded to the Mandir. There was a long procession of several other Ganesh statues too. They all did Pradakshina of the Mandir, as Swami watched from the top verandah. Then away they went to the Chitravati river! Very powerful and special Grace, I felt.

I don’t know if I mentioned poor Sarojamma, the top volunteer of Whitefield. She got cancer of the rectum, a couple of months ago. She came here for Blessings. Swami was extremely kind to her, gave her vibhuti & namaskar, and even called her for interview. Then she went to Bangalore to have immediate operation. She recovered nicely and just came for a day’s Darshan. Sai talked to her, gave more vibhuti & namaskar.

Meanwhile, poor Parthi top ladies-side volunteer Mataji is very, very ill, not coming sometimes in the morning or evening, she even “captured” Swami twice, with Doctor Amma beside her. Swami gave vibhuti and Mataji attempted to do namaskar but couldn’t manage. She could barely touch His feet with her hands from a standing position. Now I haven’t seen her at all for two full days. The treatment (or non-treatment) of her by Swami, reminds me of the unattached, uninterested way He treated Kutumba Rao when they told Swami he was full of cancer. Sai Ram, Sai Ram.

Venkamma threatens to write to you if I give your address. I think she’d write her two biggest complaints –that I don’t eat right and that I don’t listen to her! Today she announced that me not eating right was a big pain for her anyway. Even if I eat enough she doesn’t seem to believe it. Now she’s giving coffee every morning. (Perhaps this is why I seem to be rajasic lately, more on edge, but how to refuse her prasad?? Cannot!) (After all, I pick flowers for her form 3:50 AM till 4:40 AM, and make the garland in her room from 5:20 to 6:10 AM.) Plus she gives idlees or dosa after bhajan (she gets them free from the canteen) and sometimes at night a little rice.

The other complaint is that I don’t listen, but really I do whatever she says, except to go immediately when she orders me to. It’s so hard to leave her presence! A long time ago she also complained she’d write to you, then later admitted it was only a threat to get me to shape up. So I think this time it’s a threat also. :-)

I continue to keep really busy; I'm able to make line-up on only a few times a week. I'm worshipping the Lord through Venkamma. See: good karmas I suppose, able to directly serve like this. God's compassion!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

With Love,

Divya