Deadly Beautiful (SuperCorp Medieval AU)

Part 21

or the one where Kara can't sleep and Lena becomes her study buddy.

Kara did not manage to sleep for very long. After everything she had seen and been through, her dreams weren't exactly peaceful. Kara didn't ever seem to sleep for more than four or four and a half hours at a time. She couldn't help but remember all of the people she had lost, and all of the people she had caused others to lose. Kara was beyond guilt about those she had killed in the stadium, every fight was fair, but she couldn't help but think of those in the stands having to watch their loved ones die.

It was those faces that woke her each morning before the sun had even begun to rise.

Kara took a seat at the small writing desk in the corner, where she and Lena would write her weekly reports to Lex. She pulled out her notebook and a stick of charcoal. She simply gazed at the blank sheet, without contemplating what she would do; allowing the sketch to take her wherever it might want to go. Kara truly lost herself when she was drawing.

Her mind went blank or sank into itself or something and she felt at peace in those rare moments. She lost all sense of time and her ears were alert only for Lena. It was a side-effect of having taken on Lena as a friend and as someone to protect. The princess had changed everything for Kara and she didn't know if she appreciated it. Kara did know she would do anything for the other woman. Anything at all.

She didn't know if Lena realized or not, and she really needed to take a step back emotionally. Kara was getting too close and couldn't allow herself to start wanting something she could never have. It was too much of a risk.

Kara easily heard the soft rise and fall of Lena's breathing through the opened door, or maybe she was imagining it. It wasn't until she heard the princess stirring that she realized she had drawn Lena without being consciously aware. In the sketch, Lena's dark hair was splayed out behind her across the pillows as the thin nightgown barely did anything to keep her covered. Kara groaned abashedly, mad at herself for having allowed things to get this far. She closed the notebook, put away the stick of charcoal, and replaced it underneath her pillow.

"Are you up?" Lena asked from the doorway in a whisper.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep very well." Kara said as she did her best to dress on her own.

She was tired of needing others' help to put her clothes on. Kara was just generally tired of being at less than one hundred percent. She pulled her belt and sheath tight around her waist, still on the opposite side for the time being. When she stood up again, she remembered just how sore she was. Kara wanted nothing more than to be able to fight like she was meant to, in order to protect the princess.

"I can understand after all we went through together this week, but in my case at least, having you next door is a true comfort to me." Lena's voice was sweet but also concerned. "I wish I could help you in some way."

"I'm glad to be able to put you at ease, my lady." Kara replied in an even tone. She laced her boots and knocked to see if Lena was decent.

"Are you ready for dinner or is there something else you would like to do?" she asked.

"I was thinking I could perhaps review the noble families with you before we retire for dinner. We're running rather short on time before the court season begins." Lena said hopefully, unsure of what was going on with the beautiful but sad blonde woman.

"Yeah, we can do that. Your Lord Uncle has been beating them into me pretty well." Kara chuckled.

"He's not been too harsh with you has he?" the princess asked, her eyebrow raised in consternation as though she would give J'onn J'onnz a piece of her mind if he had been anything less than gentle and kind.

"Nothing like that. So far, this is what has worked the best for me?" Kara said sheepishly. "It sounds odd, but he tests me on everything as we spar and it all stays in my mind better that way."

"I understand that. Different people use different methods to learn. Maybe the movement helps you." Lena shrugged as she sat with her books at the small table in her room.

Kara gave her a half-smile and sat down across from her, more self-conscious than she had been before. Book knowledge had never been her strong suit. It made her incredibly uncomfortable to be faced with her own lack of education. It was one of her few true regrets, not that she had ever had anyone to encourage her to learn or really do anything on her own. Kara had dragged herself through the trenches and into the spotlight.

Lena could visibly see Kara squash her insecurities and settle into work out the nobility's drama on paper. There were a lot of stories that Kara didn't expect and the way that Lena told them made her laugh out loud more than once. The study sessions weren't helping her with distancing herself at all but somehow, Kara didn't really mind.