Chapter 1:

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Song choice one: "Brave Honest Beautiful" by Fifth Harmony feat. Meghan Trainor. It's really good, trust me. Please tell me if I should continue this.


I had had scoliosis for a while now. I'm almost thirteen, so I'm sure nothing bad will happen any time soon, so this orthopedist appointment should be a breeze.

It was just me and Mom going to these appointments; my siblings would be a nuisance here. Helena (11) would be fine (I think, but she was a little moody right now), but Declan (8) and Grace (6) would likely wreak havoc.

I nervously ran my fingers through my brown hair that got blond with the summer sunlight. It was just past my chin now, since I had cut it only a few months ago, and it had no knots, due to me constantly combing it in the car, and wasn't too thin or too thick.

Wait, why was I nervous? There was a low chance that I'd actually need a brace. After all, it was fifteen degrees a couple years ago. No way I could need a back brace, right?

Mom parked and we got out of the car. I was wearing a white tank top with lime green shorts. I had nothing else to wear. I hated the shorts. I had brown soled flip-flops with silver sparkled straps. They were hand-me-down from my neighbor, Hannah, who was only six days older than me.

Mom signed me in and filled out the form or whatever. She paused to ask for my birthday. She always forgot; four kids can really wear her out.

"July 18." I replied, before adding, "2004."

She scribbles out the rest of the form and gives it to the woman at the desk.

We wait a bit more. Mom opens up her phone. I wish I'd brought my own or at least the book I was reading.

Fifteen minutes later, an Indian man in light blue scrubs calls in a heavy accent, "Pearl."

He leads us through blank, beige hallways, littered with other doctors, patients, and their rooms. I know he's leading us to the x-ray waiting room. Now I really wish I had something to do, because I knew there was just going to be some stupid kids' movie on.

And I was right. I wanted to talk to Mom about stupid things, but there was nothing. So I just had to watch the movie or ignore the movie and wait patiently. At least the movie was a bit of a distraction.

Twenty minutes later, a young looking woman called my name. She led me to the room where the x-ray was and instructed me to leave off everything but my underwear and put on a hospital gown. Even my bra had to come off.

She came back a few minutes later and positioned me in front of the x-ray machine so that I was looking at the camera thing (I'm not sure if that has some sort of special name). She told me to keep still and walked out.

She wouldn't have needed to tell me that. I had scoliosis since I was six or seven. Nonetheless, I stayed still until a few seconds after the machine took the picture.

The woman came back and turned me so that I was facing the close wall, my right shoulder facing the camera thing. It clicks again, and the woman comes back to tell me that I should get back in my regular clothes.

A few minutes later, the heavily accented, light-blue scrubs dressed Indian man is leading us to an examination room.

For the next twentyish minutes, I talk to Mom about nothing. I'm mid-sentence when Dr. Nyce walks in, looking more serious than usual. Did this have anything to do with me? It can't.

"So," He began. "I have some bad news, but it's got good news."

No, not now. I'm almost freaking thirteen! I'm about to start seventh grade! I've made the travel soccer team again because of luck. It can't be happening, can't be happening, can't-

"Pearl, your curve is at 26 degrees. You'll need a back brace." Dr. Nyce announced. "She will need to wear it between eighteen and twenty hours a day, but she can go past that.

"We normally brace between 25 and 45 degrees. Anywhere past 45 means spinal fusion surgery, which seems like a better alternative, but I would strongly advise wearing the brace and only having surgery if it's needed.

"The brace is really just used to prevent the spine's curve from progressing, but there are cases where the curve is completely reversed and the spine is as close to straight as can be.

"I would not get your hopes up for anything though, if I'm being honest. The brace has not worked in some cases. Do you have any questions?"

"What does the brace look like?" Mom asked. "My cousin wore one, but I know it's probably been developed more and more since then."

"It will cover most of her torso. The prosthetist-the person who'll make the brace-will describe it in more detail, so I'll let them tell you." Dr. Nyce answered.

I remembered the book I'd gotten from my middle school's book fair in March. They seemed to have flown off the shelf. It was "Braced" by Alyson Gerber (This was good, if you're interested, you should definitely read it). The main character, Rachel Brooks, had encountered so much, and I never knew the exact ending to her bracing. I'm going to stop there, you can find out.

How was I going to do this? Rachel had it worse. I had nothing but questions. What was going to happen at "the end" of this? Would this go down in flames? Would people find out?

I put on my brave face. I can't let Mom know that I thought the worst. I can't let Dr. Nyce think I was scared. I can't let my siblings think of me as small in great challenges. I can only let my thoughts spiral me into mental insanity.

Mom took a few cards for prosthetist offices so she could get me an appointment soon. I took a deep breath. I didn't know how many of those I had left.

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