Real Love

The Next Step (Phana)

He's still crying. It's breaking my heart.  If he were awake I could comfort him, but he's not.  He's asleep and all I can do is hold on to him. I wish I knew what he was dreaming about.  I wish I could go in there and chase away all of his fears. 

Falling asleep is out of the question now, there's just no way I can relax with him being this upset.  It's pointless anyway, it's already morning.  My best option would be to try to get him to nap with me later.  I'm not sure how willing he'll be though, if he's this upset in his dreams, then how upset must he be in real life.

He starts stirring.  Thank goodness he's waking up.  I run my fingers through his hair, pushing it off of his face so that I can kiss his forehead.

"Hey there sleepyhead.  How are you feeling?" I ask him.

He sits straight up like a he's been shocked, then grabs at his head.  I suppose a hangover would cause that reaction.  I laugh to myself as I go get some aspirin and water for him to take.

"Here, take these.  You should have said that you weren't a big drinker.  You got drunk so quickly." I tell him.

"When did I drink? I don't remember doing that." He asks.

"At dinner.  I started talking about my friends and how we should get together with them, then you started chugging the wine.  You finished an entire bottle.  About a half hour later you were gone." I explain.

"Really?" He questions.

"Yes really.  Which reminds me, only one glass of wine a night from now on.  A drunk Yo is not a fun Yo.  Yo cried a lot in your sleep." I say feeling sad.

"I dreamt that I lost you.  How could I not cry?" He says softly causing me to wrap my arms around him.

"I already told you, I'm never letting you go." I tell him.

"Still, it felt so real." He whispers.

"That can happen.  You were really drunk.  You were probably in a really deep sleep." I tell him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"I do.  I have a lot to tell you, but I don't know where to start." He says looking down.

"You can tell me anything.  You know that don't you?  I won't judge you and I will always forgive you." I tell him.

"Always?" He asks.

"Always."

"Even if I lied to you?"

"Lied because you were with someone else?" I ask.

"What? God no.  I could never be with anyone else.  I love you.  I've always loved you." He says with so much conviction.

"Then I can forgive it." I tell him honestly.

"I'm scared and I'm not ready to say anything yet." He says.

"But you're getting there right? I can wait.  When you feel safe, tell me everything.  I will listen.  And remember, my being angry or disappointed is not the same as my leaving you.  I will ultimately forgive you because I can't live without you." I tell him.

He holds onto my waist and buries his head into my chest.  Every few seconds his grasp becomes tighter.  My poor Yo.  What else can I say to him?  Until he tells me what he's hiding, I can't prove that I'm not lying.

He adjusts his head so that he's looking up at me.  His eyes are shining with tears.

"Will you kiss me?" He asks.