crash & burn

3. sunshine and snowflakes

let me show you what it's like to never feel
like i'm good enough for anything that's real
- imagine dragons, "zero"

Natsu talked a lot. As soon as he slid into the passenger seat of Gray's shitty Buick, Natsu filled the car with his voice. He talked about the car, then about his own dream car, then about music and how Gray should definitely join their band that wasn't really a band, then asked what kind of music Gray liked, and maybe Natsu could put a playlist on his phone, and then about Lucy... on and on, jumping from topic to topic until Gray felt dizzy.

"...and he wasn't even in the same fucking country when his grandson was born! But somehow I'm the irresponsible one." Natsu bit his thumb, and Gray looked sideways at him. He could tell that Natsu was bitter about not being able to see Kaden, but wasn't sure he was willing to ask what happened.

"Does your tongue ever go numb from all that talking?" Gray asked instead. He'd meant for it to be somewhat teasing, but he immediately worried that it came across as rude. Luckily, Natsu just laughed.

"It probably would eventually," Natsu admitted, shifting in his seat and drumming his fingers along the door handle. "Usually I get told to shut up before now. Or people just stop listening." Gray snorted. "You can tell me to shut up if you want, I won't get offended." Natsu wriggled again, this time leaning so that he was facing Gray.

"It's... uh, it's fine," Gray said, pulling to a stop at a red light. He could practically feel the energy vibrating off of Natsu. "Did Gajeel hurt you?"

Natsu shook his head. "Nah, just being an ass. That was a pretty impressive punch, though!" Gray smiled a little at that, still feeling the sting of his split knuckles.

"He had it coming," he said. The light turned green and he urged the car forward.

"Where do you know him from?" Natsu asked. Gray tensed, even though he could tell that the question was only meant conversationally. "Did you guys go to the same school?"

"Something like that," Gray replied vaguely. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, gritting his teeth against the dull, aching pain that was spreading from his shoulder down his back. It has been getting worse as the day went on, and now it was nearly intolerable. Why the hell had he offered Natsu a ride? He needed to get home and get his meds. "What'd he want from you?"

"J-just being a jerk," Natsu replied, ears pink and voice hesitant. Gray shrugged, he wasn't going to pry. "Y'know, pick on the gay kid, I guess."

"Well, he got two of us," Gray replied, ignoring Natsu's surprised glance. It might as well be out in the open. "I'm mean, I'm bi, but I don't care if anybody knows about me, and that asshole can eat a bag of dicks."

Natsu stared at Gray for a moment, then burst out laughing. Full-body, chest-shaking, noisy laughs that brought tears to his eyes. Gray tried to remain stoic, but Natsu's cheer seemed to be contagious, and he found himself snickering as well.

"A bag... hah... of dicks!" Natsu giggled, wiping tears from his eyes and looking over at Gray with a silly grin on his face. Gray rolled his eyes, but his lip curled up in amusement.

"So, where am I taking you?" Gray asked. He realized that he'd never actually asked Natsu where he lived, and that he'd been unconsciously heading toward his own apartment the entire time.

"Um, anywhere is fine..." Natsu said uncertainly. Gray turned to see Natsu chewing his thumbnail again. "I'm... not really ready to go home yet." He darted a glance over and met Gray's eyes for a second. "But I know you said you were busy tonight and you probably have to get home, so seriously you can even just drop me right here if you'd like, if that's easiest..."