Desiderium

and they ask why I'm sad

I dislike when I tell someone I'm sad and they ask why I'm sad,
I don't always have a reason,
and to them, it seems like I'm holding back, not opening up,
or I feel like I open up too much and I stop.

I get sad a lot for no reason or maybe there are reasons and I'm too scared to admit them to myself.

but they ask why I'm sad,
and I don't always know what to tell them,
I don't always know how to put what I'm feeling into words,
I don't always know why I'm feeling what I feel.

but they ask why I'm sad,
maybe it's the small things that go unnoticed, the things I want people to notice,
or maybe it's as if I'm this fragile piece of glass that can't handle being bumped or nudged,
or it's feeling like I'm not as important to someone as they are to me,
or feeling like someone doesn't care anymore,
or that I'm too much to handle.

but they ask why I'm sad,
and I tell them never mind, I'm fine and change the conversation.
but when I tell someone I'm sad, why can't they just ask if I'm okay?

I don't feel comfortable telling people that I'm not okay because you always have to tell them why, you always have to tell them something,
but I don't always have a reason.