A coma might feel better than this.
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I sit on the couch in sweatpants and my baggy knitted cardigan. I stare blankly to the space in front of me where the boys are playing with one another. My hair is in a messy bun and my face looks worn out, tired. I hold the gold pendent from my necklace in my hand, biting the tip of my fingernail as the house sits quietly- the only sound being Abel and Thomas. I hear the front door open and multiple footsteps coming in.
My dad walks around the couch and sets a hand on my shoulder, "How're you doing, Ally girl?" he asks me, knowing that I haven't been coping the best. I let out a deep breath and just nod, not replying to his question. He analyzes the bags under my eyes and frowns, assuming I haven't really slept.
"Where's Jackson?" I hear Chibs call out from behind me. I point to the hallway and I watch as Chibs, Happy and Nero walk down to get him.
I look over to my dad and tears start filling up my eyes, "He came home late last night and has just been sitting in the nursery. He hasn't spoken to me, dad. He's been at the clubhouse for three days and I don't even get the courtesy of a text or call. I don't know what to do." I say helplessly as I cry out to my father.
My dad frowns, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head, doing his best to calm me down. "It's okay, baby. It's going to be okay." He looks over and sees Abel frown as he sees me crying.
"Is Mommy okay?" Abel squeaks, not sure if he should talk or not. My dad gives him a sad grin, nodding.
"I think Mommy could use a big bear hug from her two favorite boys." Abel stands up, pulling Thomas up from the ground and they walk over to me, wrapping their arms around me.
"Mommy don't cry." Abel says quietly as he leans his head on my lap. "We love you." Another tear rolling down my eye as I can tell how this upsets Abel and Thomas.
"Pick him up! Get him showered." I hear Chibs yell at Nero and Happy who are all in the nursery with Jax. Before I can make sense of it, I watch as Nero carries Jax out of the nursery and into our bathroom. I hear the water run from the shower and eventually the door closes, leaving Jax alone to clean up.
Nero walks down the hall, looking over at me and giving me a small grin. "Can I talk to you?" He asks me. I nod, kissing Thomas and Abel before standing up and walking to the backyard with Nero. I open the French doors and take in the fresh air, my body instantly relaxing to the scent of freshly cut grass. "How long has he been like that?"
I take a deep breath, "He's been sleeping at the clubhouse for the last few days, Nero. He got home late last night and has just been sitting in the nursery. The boys slept with me last night, thank god. He hasn't even said hi to them, or me. I haven't heard from him in days. I don't even know what's happening." I rub the tears from my eyes and let out a loud sigh. "What am I doing wrong?"
Nero shakes his head, "Nothing. You're doing nothing wrong, don't blame yourself." He pulls a cigarette from his back pocket and lights it, looking over to me and offering me one of my own. I take it in my hand and start inhaling the nicotine. "I think you should go and talk to him, or just try. He needs you more than you know."
I look up at the man confused, "What happened, Nero?"
He breaks eye contact with me and stares out to the pool in the backyard, "Not my thing to discuss. Finish up and go talk to him. We're taking him with us today, but we'll bring him back around dinner." He directs me and I just nod, finishing up my cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray before heading back inside.
YOU ARE READING
Son of a Rambler.
FanfictionShe's done her best to leave the past behind until she gets transferred and everything she prayed would never happen eventually did.