Son of a Rambler.

Chapter 14.

I don't want to admit to something if all it's going to cause is pain.

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I lay in the bed with Al by my side. She's turned on her side fast asleep, and I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, getting lost in my thoughts. I feel absolutely destroyed that she was pregnant with my child and she lost it due to Tully and Ima. There's nothing more that I wish I could do than go back in time and protect her from ever getting kidnapped and abused by those two sacks of shit. It seems like she can't catch a break since she's been in Charming.

I need to know that she will always be safe and that she will always have the life that she has worked so hard for and has deserved. I feel stuck. Part of me wants her gone, back to wherever she came from, and the other part of me wants her to stay here and to be with me, regardless of the consequences.

I wish life turned out differently. I wish she never left with her mom years ago, instead I wish that she stayed and maybe everything would be different. Maybe we would have gotten married, bought our own house and had a baby of our own. Maybe Abel would've been hers instead of Wendy's.

Reflecting on the pain that's been brought to Al tears me apart inside. I need her to be safe, and I need her to live the best life that she possibly can. I can't seem to decide what to do. Do I push her away? Do I keep her involved and potentially risk her life? I look over at the sleeping woman and smile softly, running my fingers along the line of her spine. I move off the bed and get dressed in a plaid shirt, a pair of jeans and my cut.

I walk over to her side of the bed and bend down, pressing my lips against her cheek and brushing the hair out of her face. I walk out of her house and lock the door behind me before hopping on my bike and riding off to the clubhouse where the guys are preparing for Chib's birthday party.

Once I arrive, I look around and see the guys hustling, getting the clubhouse ready. I look back and see my mom standing outside of the office, a cigarette between her lips. She smirks at me and gives me a gentle waving, acknowledging my arrival. Before I know it, Mom's made her way over to me and she presses her lips against my cheek, "How's it going, baby?"

I let out a sigh, "It's going. You, Ma?"

She smiles, "Good, really good. Looking forward to tonight?"

I nod, getting off of my bike and standing beside her. "Yeah, it should be a good night. Al said she's going to come over after she's done dinner with the boys."

Mom nods, "I'm glad she's coming. I'm sure the guys would love to see her around here more often." We start heading towards the clubhouse together and mom looks over at me, "Is she your old lady?" she asks me bluntly and I can't help but chuckle.

"That's yet to be discussed, Ma."

Gemma shakes her head, "Oh please. She watches your kids, well raises them, and you guys are always together. Sounds like an old lady to me."

"I'm sure Tig would love to hear that his daughter has become an old lady." I tease before getting cut off by the devil himself.

"What are you saying about my daughter?" Tig asks me playfully, but with a sense of seriousness behind it.

I shake my head, "Nothing, T-"

"Was asking if Ally is Jax's old lady, ya' know, they're together every waking moment of every day. I figured she has claimed the position." Gemma butts in and cuts me off. I roll my eyes, knowing that this can go one of two ways.