Keeping Secrets (Book 1)

Chapter 1: Hiding

I have a secret.

Actually, I have two. Neither of which I really want people to know about me, although one of them I'm much more afraid of letting people find out about than the other. If they knew the truth about me - either truth - my life would never be the same. It would become so much worse than it already was.

I sighed, resting my chin in my hands, my elbows resting on the table. Why must my life revolve around so many secrets? Why couldn't I just have a normal life?

"Don't fret, boy," she spoke from behind me.

I turned in my chair, not expecting her to be there. But, like always, she appeared when I was least expecting it. She looked the same as she always did when she visited - wearing her favorite pink floral dress and her short gray hair pulled back with a little clip. I wish I had known her when she was still alive. She died when I was only a couple years old.

"Grandma..." I sighed again. She was the only one who knew what I was hiding. She seemed to know everything, perks of being dead, I guess. "I don't know what to do."

Ever since the accident, I've been able to see and talk to her. It was weird at first - hell, it's still weird - but she explained to me that I could do this because I came so close to death. I've come to realize how much I needed someone to talk to, and she quickly filled that role.

"Listen to what your heart is telling you to do."

"What if it's telling me to hide?"

She gave me a small smile. "Is that what you want, Dylan?"

I shook my head. "How could anybody want to hide who they really are from the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally? I'm only hiding so that they don't suddenly hate me."

"And the boy?"

I turned back around in the chair, letting my head hit the table. "He said if I don't come out soon, he's going to end things between us."

"That sounds like he doesn't really love you after all," Grandma said, her voice now coming from in front of me instead of from behind me. "Do you love him?"

I lifted my head to look at her. "Of course I do! But I-"

"Dylan? Honey?" Mom called, walking into the dining room. "Who are you talking to in here?"

I glanced back at the spot Grandma had been standing in moments before. She was gone, like always. "No one." I stood up, holding tightly onto the back of the chair for support.

Mom reached out, probably trying to steady me, but I shot her a look. "I'm fine," I muttered. I didn't need help. I wasn't useless. "I can stand on my own."

"I know, honey," she said softly. "That doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you. You'll always be my baby boy, with or without that leg of yours."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going out with Travis," I said, wishing I could say those words and have her understand and accept the real meaning behind them. "He's coming to pick me up in a few minutes."

Her face lit up. She liked when I got out of the house. I haven't been doing that too much lately, not since the accident at least, unless it was for my various doctor appointments. The only one of my friends who really stuck around after was Travis, but even he seemed ready to leave me behind.

"That's great, honey. Where are you headed?"

I shrugged, making my way towards the hallway. I still had a hard time walking on the prosthetic. It sucked. "I don't know. He didn't say."

Mom followed behind me, hovering like she always did. "Well, I'm sure you boys are going to have fun, with whatever you end up doing. Just be careful, okay Dyl? If you need me to come pick you up or anything, just call, okay?"

I stopped walking, my hand on the wall, and looked at her. "Yeah, Mom. Got it."

There was a knock on the door and I instantly knew it was Travis. Mom hurried past me to open the door and I watched as he walked in, politely greeting my mother like always. Then his gaze landed on me and he smiled. I felt like I was falling in love all over again every time he gave me that smile.

"Hey, Dyl," he said, walking over to me. "You good? Ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah. I just need to grab my phone and my wallet from my room."

Travis put his hand on my shoulder, already heading past me. "I'll get them for you. That it?"

His hand was on my shoulder a few seconds longer than it should have been, what with my mom standing right there and everything, but I tried to ignore that. "That's it. Thanks, Trav."

A moment later, he returned, sliding both items into my back pocket. I shot him a glare when his hand stayed too long there too. He was in a touchy mood today, which would normally be great, if my mother wasn't still standing right there. Thankfully, she's been relatively oblivious lately.

As soon as we got inside the safety of his car, I snapped at him. "Are you crazy?" I demanded. "She could have noticed all the touching, Trav!"

He turned on the engine and pulled out of my driveway before speaking. "Well it wouldn't be an issue if you just told her we were dating, or you know, been going out for how long now? Almost seven months?"

I sighed, resting my head back against the head rest. "You know I can't do that."

"Who says you can't, boy?"

I jumped, looking into the backseat where my grandmother sat calmly. I stared at her for a second before turning back to Travis, who was eyeing me cautiously as he drove.

"You good, babe?" he asked, also glancing into the backseat but seeing nothing there.

I nodded slowly, looking down at my hands in my lap, not saying anything. I hated keeping that secret from him, but I knew he'd never understand if I told him what I could see.

He didn't say anything else, just reached out and grabbed my left hand. He gently brought it up to his mouth, leaving a little kiss on the back of it. I've always loved when he did that, and he knew it, too.

"You know I love you, Dyl," he said quietly, lowering our hands so that they now rested in his lap.

"I love you too."

Of course, Grandma had to keep tossing her two cents in: "So tell your mother, Dylan." I just ignored her.

Travis sighed, coming to a stop at a red light. "That's why I don't want to wait anymore. I want to tell people how much I love you. I want the world to know what a wonderful boyfriend I have. I can't do that if you keep hiding from everything."

"I can't, Trav." I pulled my hand back just as the light switched to green. "Too much has happened to me over the past few months. I lost almost everything. I can't lose the rest of it by telling them the truth."

"What are you so afraid of?"

I shook my head. "I can't lose them, Trav. I don't want to lose you either. You know how much you mean to me."

Before he could say anything, a small child ran out into the road in front of us. "Travis!" I gasped. "Stop!"

He slammed on his breaks, earning a honk from the car behind us. Carefully, he maneuvered the car off to the side of the road to let the other cars through. The child had vanished, probably having died years ago by running out into this street.

"What's wrong, Dyl? Are you okay?"

I sighed, trying to slow my racing heartbeat. "I'm sorry. I, uh... I don't know. I panicked."

Travis grabbed my hand again, misunderstanding my panic. "Hey, it's okay, babe. I'm right here. We're okay. You're okay."

A/N: Hey guys! Welcome to Keeping Secrets!  Let me know what you think! Thanks :)