Recovery

My friend Jack

Eve.

My heart and head hurt from all the crap that was brought up today. I practically sprinted out of Dr. Blacks office. To say I had a rough day was an understatement. With what happened with Adam last night and into the early morning, and my appointment with my drug counselor, I could really use a drink or ten.

After my fifteen minute drive home I opened the front door to my house and popped my head inside. I didn't hear any sign of Destine inside the house. I slowly opened my front door and tiptoed down the entryway into my kitchen.

I couldn't help myself. On the way home I stopped at a liquor store and bought myself a bottle of Jack. I knew if I got caught with alcohol it would be a violation of my probation, but what can I say, I'm weak. I needed to numb myself. I needed to feel nothing and erase my day. The only way I knew how to do that was getting black out drunk. And a bottle of wine or something light wasn't going to cut it. I needed straight poison.

I sat my good friend Jack on my kitchen island and helped him out of his jacket. After getting myself a glass of ice, so Jack could get comfortable, I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

"Eve, what are you doing?"

I turned around to Destines questioning face in the hall.

"I know what you're going to say and before you start, I did think of what could happen. No I'm not worried. You shouldn't worry either, because I got this and I can make my own decisions. And last but not least, would you like to join me in some classy yet could get trashy alcoholism?"  I said, pleading with her.

"Are we doing just shots or are we making drinks?"

"I think we have some coke in the fridge. And don't worry it's the soda kind, not the drug kind." I said, sarcastically.

"I'll get a glass." Des said, rolling her eyes.

I poured Des and I a drink and sat down next to her at the island. We sat in silence sipping our drinks, but I could feel her eyes burning a hole into my head.

"I'm guessing counseling was a bit. How do I put it? Intense, rough, emotional? Oh no, don't tell me! Your counselor quit because they finally met someone who doesn't have human feelings." She said, breaking the awkward silence.

"I guess you could say that." I murmured into my drink.

"Well don't leave me here guessing what happened! You of all people should know I can jump to some crazy conclusions." She contended, swiveling her stool to face me.

"My counselor is a walking wet dream, for starters. How am I supposed to make conversation with someone I just want to fuck into next week?"

"Oh my god Eve! Please tell me you didn't try and seduce your therapist. He's your doctor for Christ sake." She said, nudging my arm playfully.

"No I didn't try and seduce him. Shit, I could hardly keep eye contact. It's like I was talking to a freaking robot Des. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me, I probably sounded like an idiot! If I wanted anyone else I could have him eating out of the palm of my hand, no problem. But he saw right though me. I turned into some stuttering preschooler." 

"Eve, no offense but, have you ever actually talked to a guy to get to know each other before you brought him home? Maybe you feel like this because you're in uncharted waters. You never opened up and talked to someone about whats bothering you. And this counselor is making you do something you've never experienced before. It's okay to feel uneasy about it." Des replied, taking another sip of her drink.