FACELESS

Chapter 12

Jesse comes in today without knocking. Her face is solemn, and she is silent as her sneakers dragged across the floor - sneakers.

Another thing I notice with shock - her nails are gone. The rhinestones and polish is cleaned off her nails, and she even cut them shorter, down to the nail bed. No, wait. She bit them down. Under the light, I can see the unevenness of the nails, and her fingers are trembling slightly as she pressed her fingers against one another.

She's nervous.

I noticed the state of her hair. When I wake up every morning my hair is in its abnormal state - messy and puffed up. A brush lies at the side table. Though, my hair does little to improve my features, it's a sense of comfort to know I'm in control of something. It's a purple brush with the prints of Hello Kitty on it I got from Japan last year during a business trip with my parents. It lies beside me right now.

I am tempted to offer the brush to Jesse. I'm not sure if she had looked at herself in the mirror today. There are bags under her eyes - unusual, as she normally covers them up with her concealer. And her hair is a lion mane. It's everywhere, sticking on her neck and like wings they are puffing up above her head. There is a poignant look in her eyes.

"Hey, sorry - I'm late."

My eyes drifted to the clock. 8:47am.

She's not late - she's early. Almost 15 minutes earlier than usual.

"So, uh -let's, let's just get started." She fumbled in her bag for the notebook I presume hold my evaluations.

"I, uh, just need to find... The book, yes... Book..." She's muttering under her breath.

"Ms.Jesse?" I called out.

"Hm... yes?" She's more fidgeting today than usual. Something must had happened, or she would be normal.

"Are you okay?"

A brief pause. She blinked, taking in a breath through her gaping mouth. A smile made its way up to her lips - forced, tight.

"Yes, dear, I'm fine."

"You seemed a bit out today, Ms Jesse." I blinked. I watched her features crumble, her shoulders sagging with exhaustion. There's one part of my heart that clenched with ... pain, sympathy - empathy. There's no doubt. I feel sad for her, her emptiness today. It strikes me now that I realised that I've never seen her so broken, or out of place before.

"Forget it." She sighed, rubbing her hands in her face.

"Why? Did something... happen?" The words came out before I could stop them. I bit my lower lips, swallowing.

She lets out a heavy breath - heavy with sadness and exhaustion.

"I... Something happened, yes." Leaning back to the creaky hospital chair, she gave out another heavy sigh.

"Although I do not suppose I can tell you." There is a hint of local accent seeping through her teeth now. She swallowed, blinking.

"Yet, I would. I have no idea who I can talk to at this moment."

So the angels do have their own demons. Ms Jesse is a psychiatrist, yet she... She's battling for her own mental health as well. A swell of appreciation bubbled inside of me - And she's helping me.

She paused for a moment, her eyes fleeting back and forth at the chair beside me to my bed, hesitating. Her fingers rubbed nervously at the handbag leather on her lap,