Male!BluestarxReader

4. Can't Change

"Gee and here I was thinking Bluepaw was a sulker." Lionpaw whispered to his Goldenpaw.

You pretended that you didn't hear what he said.

"Lionpaw that's not nice, I'm sure she has a reason to be upset." Goldenpaw defended.

"Will you two stop gossiping, we're on a patrol, or did you not notice?" Stormtail inquired, annoyed.

The patrol was marking and checking along the Riverclan boarder, it seemed quiet.

You had been in a bad mood for a few sunrises, not talking to anyone about it, not even Featherwhisker.

You felt horrible about it but you felt like you weren't really part of the clan, they even stopped caring after a while making you convince yourself further.

Your patrol was up by the gorge, you walked near the edge, shaking at the long fall.

You stepped away from the edge and fell into step with Thrushpelt.

"Y/a/n, I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but, could you try to act happier? Or at least talk about what's bothering you?" Thrushpelt asked you

"So he just wants me to suck it up? He doesn't care, why should he."

"Act happy? I don't think she's capable of that!" Lionpaw called

"Lionpaw!" Goldenpaw hissed

You shook your head and felt your hackles raise. You let out a yowl of fury and lunged forward.

You didn't lunge at Lionpaw, it looked like you were and his face showed terror but instead of tackling him you flew past him and over the edge of the gorge.

Yowl of panic and distress called after you as you plunged down. Your claws slid out instinctively before pressure surrounded you and you couldn't breathe.

Your favorite memories flashed before you as the water carried you on. Then a vision appeared in front of you. It was your friends.

"How could I be so selfish?"

You thrashed in the water trying to force yourself up. You broke the surface and gulped in a breath before the water forced you back under.

"No! Not like this! Not before I've said goodbye at least!"

You kept thrusting your legs as forcefully as you could and you eventually broke the surface again to take another breath, opening your jaws to yowl before the unforgiving river pushed you back down.

Water filled your mouth and went down your throat. It was the worst thing you've ever felt in your life.

After repeated cycles of going under and getting up to breath you felt the bank of the river under your paws and, using your last bit of strength, you dug you claws in and forced your way out of the river.

Your fur was heavy and soaked, it's usual f/c shine was replace by a darker shade caused by the water.

You collapsed by the edge of the river, everything was still spinning and your stomach felt heavy with water.

After a while of you breathing and just enjoying every breath, you heard frantic paws approaching.

Your eyes remained shut as the cats that were coming arrived. Scrambled words and then your scruff was grabbed.

.

.

You jolted awake, it was quiet and the beating of your heart in your chest was the only thing moving.

You looked around wildly, not able to remember what happened. There was rustling and you whipped around to see a familiar silvery tom.

"Y/n! Your awake!" Featherwhisker said happily, stepping forward to touch his nose to your cheek.

Your fur flattened and you calmed down.

"I'm sorry Featherwhisker but I don't remember how I got here, do you know?" You asked nervously

He looked shock before explaining how Thrushpelt and Stormtail had dragged your drenched body into camp saying how you fell off the gorge.

"It's a miracle you survived, I was so worried you would join Starclan but luckily Goosefeather told me about a Riverclan technique of getting water out of a cat." He finished

"Right, thanks Featherwhisker I guess I should go reassure the others." You purred, giving his ear a lick before leaving.

The first cat to come up to you was Lionpaw. He sputtered apologies and looked relieved after you told him it was ok.

Then Goldenpaw and Snowpaw came, Goldenpaw looked absolutely happy to see you and Snowpaw rambled about how he thought you were dead.

Suddenly Bluepaw came storming over, pushing past Lionpaw and nudging you out of the camp even though you protested.

He eventually stopped once you were a bit of a distance away from the camp.

"Bluepaw what was that-"

"Stop!"He hissed.

"What?" You asked taken aback.

"Stop being upset! You can't just go jumping off the gorge every time your agitated!" He growled

"I can't control my feelings that simply! Like your any better!" You yelled

"I don't go jumping to my death!" He retorted

"So what, I can do what I want, not like anyone would care anyways! They'd just forget after a moon or two!" You argued

Bluepaw suddenly rushed forward, burying his nose into your neck. You tensed in shock, not expecting the action.

He turned his head under your chin.

"I wouldn't. Not for a lifetime."

"I'm sorry, I won't do anything like that again." You whispered

His tail wrapped around your side and twined his tail with yours.

He pulled back slightly and looked you in the eyes.

"Also stay away from Lionpaw, he's to cheerful for a cat."

You laughed and agreed as he sweetly licked your cheek.