{my best mistake} (ONE)

Bastard

One week later

Rose was back at school, but she came back straight. I didn't tell her I was her girlfriend. It would only derail her life.
The most I told her was that we (Duke, her, and I) were good friends. It was great. I was working up the courage to tell her eventually, but she needed to get used to school again first.

One day, she came to me and asked if she could tell me something.

"Of course" I sat down on a nearby bench with her. She looked nervous yet excited.

"Okay so.." she blushes, it's insane adorable when she does that, "I think..I think I have a crush on Duke."

And that's when my heart shattered.

"O-oh.." I try to hide my disappointment in my voice.

"I wanna ask him out..should I?" She dosent notice my expression, luckily.

"Um..I mean..yeah, if you..really want to.." my voice was quiet. I look down. My chest has a hole where my heart was.

She keeps going on, about how she wants to, but how it would be different and difficult, but how she so dosent care, because he's so cute. My eyes sting with tears when I finally get up and walk away, saying I'll see her later.

Later, as I'm brushing my teeth, my phone dings.

Rose: me and Duke are getting together!! ❤️

My temporary happiness fades as I am once again put into the worst possible situation. I was gonna have to get over her for my sake, for dukes sake..and for Roses sake.

I'm in bed, reading, trying to get my mind off of everything. My phone buzzes and i reluctantly pick it up, seeing Dukes name pop up. I sigh and answer it.

"Hello?" My voice comes out bitchier than expected.
"Hey..um, nose-"
"Asked you out. Yeah." I cross my arms and let out a sigh.
"Thanks for letting me know."

"Julia, it isn't fair. You didn't tell her she was your girlfriend"

"Because she had fucking amnesia! She came back straight! I was waiting! You know that." My voice cracks slightly as I'm about to cry.

"Julia..I'm sorry."

I hang up the phone and throw my face into a pillow, wanting to scream till nothing comes out. How could Duke do this to me?
Well. Maybe I did it to myself. I caused the crash. I didn't tell her..
It was my fault.
All mine.
I cry myself to sleep that might. How could I be so dumb?

I tell my mom in the morning that I need a mental health day so she lets me take time off of school. She heads to work, and I turn on the hot water to take a bath. I grab a speaker for my phone and pick a really depressing song to sulk with. (I wish you liked girls- Abbey Glover)

'I grew pretty attached to you, like a dog on a lead..'

The words hit my heart and I sigh and undress.

I get in the tub and let the song lyrics sink into my head

'cuz you like boys, boys, boys, and you don't like me..'

I let the water fill up for a while.
As the song plays, I sing along sadly.
I get out of the shower after washing. I go back into my room and shut my phone off, not wanting to see the flurry of texts and calls on my phone. I eat some ice cream and listen to more depressing music (iM nOt OKayYy) until my mother gets home. I eat dinner with her, then go back up to my room and turn my phone back on.

Duke missed call (15)

Duke: where are you?

Duke: are you okay?

Duke: Julia

Duke: Julia what the hell come on

I don't reply. I don't wanna think right now. I go to bed, crying to sleep.