I AM TALKING ABOUT FRIENDS AMD I DONT KNOW IF THEY ARE OKAY IF I USE THEIR NAMES SO I WILL JUST TAKE THE FIRST LETTER OF THEIR NAME eg J for Julia (me)
I have epilepsy. In October 2017 I had a seizure two days before a concert of one of my favourite bands All Time Low (CHECK THEM OUT IF YOU DONT KNOW THEM!!!) I even had M&G tickets but I was stuck in hospital. For Christmas 2017 I got tickets to see All Time Low in London on 17th March 2018 and I was so looking forward to it because I have made so many friends because of ATL who I knew I'd meet. In February I had M&G tickets for another band called As It Is (NEW ALBUM THE GREAT DEPRESSION COMES OUT ON 10TH AUGUST 2018!!!) and it was so magical I was so star struck when I talked to them. Two days after the show I had a maths assessment test in school but I still had massive post concert depression. After around 5mins after the test started I started crying, 5mins later I left the class room and gave my teacher a blank sheet of paper with my name and tear drops on it and left. It was that bad all week until I realised that As It Is had a show on 16th March 2018 in London so the night before All Time Low in the same city. Could it get any better?? Of course I bought tickets for As It Is as well. It was a Friday and right after school I left for the airport. The plane was delayed by 40 fucking mins!!!! We got an Uber for going to the hotel and my dad told the driver to drop me off at the venue so I had missed all 3 opening acts and 2 songs (came in while they were playing the 3rd one). One of my friends was also there and she had texted me where she was standing but I was kinda too scared to go through all those people because I'm fucking short (1.53m / 5ft). So I was just kinda standing there awkwardly but enjoying the fact that I'm seeing the band again when someone from behind asked if I could move a little to the right so it was easier to get to her friends. I turned around AND IT WAS THAT ONE FRIEND OF MINE WHO I HAD TEXTED WITH AND SKYPED AND ALL THAT!! WE HUGGED AND I WAS SO CLOSE TO CRYING IT WAS PERFECT! She took my hand and we went to where all the others were I knew them from twitter but I never really talked to any of them besides V. When the show was over we kept hugging and took selfies until I got an Uber to go back to my hotel. The next day was the day when I FINALLY got to see All Time Low and also see V again as well as finally hugging my twinny L, her friend M and R (who I don't talk to anymore because for some reason she blocked me) we all had early entry upgrades and as soon as we got in line we got a paper bracelet thing with the number to see who's actually there first so no one could skip the line. As V went to the venue right after the As It Is show she was first in line for EE and I had bought that for me and her so we were first together. L and M were there also very early so we were right behind each other and then some time later R joined us... while we were waiting the girl behind us K started speaking to us so we were 6 people. I had been there since 12.00 and the show didn't start until 8.00 / early entry at 5.00. I always thought being at a venue so early and waiting is so boring but with the guys it was so funny and didn't feel that long at all!! So then we got into the venue and I got battier at the fucking cat walk!!! Everyone was pushing so bad and I was close to getting like a billion panic attacks because I couldn't even properly breath or move my arms! Then someone said that someone threw up and another girl came forward and said she needs to throw up and that made my panic mode even worse because I have a vomit phobia... that was the worst part honestly! The support act came on, everything was alright. Then the first all time low set started and as soon as the intro began playing I started crying! I cried through their entire So Wrong It's Right set (10 year anniversary) and then while waiting for the "normal" set to start I didn't know how long I could handle the pushing. While ATL was on stage and performed it was alright because I was distracted but while waiting it got so bad I asked a security guy where I'd go if I would ask them to get me out of the crowd... both girls next to me were like if you don't feel alright tell us! Anxiety is a fucking bitch!! At that point Security gave out water so I asked if I could have a cup but they didn't hear me so the girl next to me helped me and I got a cup... it continued until I had at least 5 or 6 cups which calmed me down so I was fucking ready to see the other set of all time low! The show was so good and so fun! In the end of the show I touched Alex Gaskarth's arm twice (lead singer) and Jack Barakat's Arm once. This made me so so happy! After the show my friend V had no idea what to do because her other friends who she came with on the bus to England had already left her alone and she didn't have a hotel / hostel or whatever place you could stay at over night and had a panic attack so I called my dad and took her to my hotel where she slept on bathrobes with towels since my dad and I were sharing the bed and we didn't have a sofa. I felt so sorry for V but was happy she was okay because when I found her after the show (she went to the back because of all the pushing) she was a mess and had a panic attack. You can't leave someone like that alone especially one of your best friends and also you won't let them sleep in a train station! So the next morning she took an Uber and got back home to Germany on a bus. My dad and I actually spent some time together then after I had been with my friends at the concerts. We went to Madame Tussaud's where I got my billionth picture with 1D and Liam 😂🙏🏻 it was such an awesome weekend but my entire body was bruised from the guys pushing and exactly one week after the show I had tickets to see harry styles and I didn't even wanna go because I was still so exhausted 😂 it was an awesome experience and I really wanna do that again in those cases I kinda feel like panic attacks and bruises are less important than friendship 💜 I love them so much and NEXT WEEK WE HAVE PROM COMING UP AND ONE OF THE FIRST FRIENDS I MADE WHO MOVED TO ENGLAND IS COMING HERE FOR PROM AND IM SO EXCITED FOR SATURDAY!! 😍🙏🏻
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Mental health Issues
Non-FictionLoads of my favourite celebrities have spoken out loud about their mental health which inspired me a lot and I hope my experiences will help some of you if I am open about it, so in this book I'll basically talk about my experiences with mental heal...