In the Back Seat

Father.

Hey dad
It's been a while hasn't it?
Well I'd say 18 years is really long because
I haven't seen you
Barely heard from you
And you having a son with another woman really tells me how much you love me
I don't hate my brother how could I?
It's not his fault you chose to leave my mother while she was pregnant with me
How you decided to not be there when I was born
But you were there for him
You were there for him throughout his whole life
I saw your family photos
Where you're all smiling while I'm screaming and fighting with someone I can barely call my dad
I appreciate the things he's done
The things you didn't bother to try
And I still lay at night wondering why you didn't come see me
Because the last time I saw you was when I was four the second time I turned 18 and you decided you wanted to be in my life again
When you had no idea
No clue
On the type of hell I've been through
I've seen my mother lay in bed all day crying over you
Over the man that was supposed to love and cherish her
To help raise me
But where were you?
Where were you when I needed help with my homework?
Where were you when I needed my father to tell me everything will be ok
When I needed my father to keep me safe from monsters
Instead I got screaming, crying, and noises that still shake me to my core
You had no problem making me
But I got problems with you breaking apart a potential family
I've had to cope with you not being around
And I had no hopes of ever seeing you again
You left and never looked back
And now you're here acting like you know me when you don't know Jack
Because you weren't there for me.
Not when I was born
Not when I took my first steps
My first word was "bye"
I guess you knew that'd be the first thing I'd say.
But you know what?
I forgive you.