Learning To Let Go

The Telling

Do you ever get the feeling like you are on the outside looking in? That is how I felt for a while because I kept it all bottled up inside and I didn't tell a soul about how I was feeling.

He even noticed that I was being distant and he wanted to know what was going on with me. We were going through a rough a rough patch.

He told me, 'Then tell me what's the point of being best friends if you don't tell me.'

I told him, 'You really want to know?'

He told me, 'Yes.'

I told him, 'I have feelings for you okay, there I said it happy now.'

He told me, 'Elizabeth I been knew I just haven't said it because you're a good friend and a really good friend I didn't want to end that I didn't want us to be together just at the end we don't see eye to eye anymore that what happened to Penelope, we don't talk anymore we don't even say hey or look at each other and if we do we look away and it's hard it's really hard do you really want that to happen because I don't.'

I knew that telling him the truth would end up being the biggest mistake that I could ever make and I was right. I didn't know what I was thinking but I wish that I could take everything back.

It was at school when I noticed something. He was starting to hang around Penelope a lot more than before and I knew something was going on. As much as I tried to tell myself that my mind is was just playing tricks on me. I really wanted to be wrong and to not accept what was happening. So I had to find out the truth.

I asked him, 'Are you and Penelope getting back together again because if you are can you just not lie to me please.'

He told me, 'Yeah we are and I never lied.'

I told him, 'Yeah you did and can you do me a favor and erase my number.'

He told me, 'Elizabeth, I told you I just wanted to be friends and I'm sorry I don't feel the same about you I know it must hurt as hell and your heart is broken but I doesn't mean we can't be friends but if you want to be like tat ten fine that's your choice I never suggested or said anything about it I still want to be your friend but it seems you don't want to and I'm sorry for that I really did mean what I said you really are a good friend it sucks that I have one less friend now.'

I broke down when he told me that and my baby sister ad to wipe my tears away. I lost my other half and I was a horrible feeling. I never went through anything like that before and in the end, I just wanted to protect myself. I wish that everything could have ended up better and I wish that this wasn't the end of us and everything that we have gone through.

So I told him and look what good it did. I just left me hurt and humiliated.