Learning To Let Go

The Beginning

I was never the type of girl who believed in happily ever after because I thought that it could never happen to a girl like me. Before I met him I knew exactly the person I was, but everything turned on its axis and nothing was ever the same again. I was always so closed off to everyone because I didn't want to get hurt and I thought that I was protecting myself but I was wrong since I was just hurting everyone around me. I met him in the ninth grade and after that we were inseparable and I was with him through everything and he helped me when I was at my lowest. I helped him out whenever he wanted to ask girls out and he would confide in me about all his relationships. For me, whenever he would talk about his girlfriends all I could hear was my heart breaking and I could say anything because I was his best friend and he was mine; through thick and thin. Some people say that the fell in love with their best friend and that it is the most wonderful feeling, but for me it was the worst because he has never seen me like that and I don't think he ever would.

I wish that I could turn back the clock to the exact moment that I fell for him, but to be honest I don't think that I would want to. I want to be happy and I thought that he would be the one for me but this wasn't meant to be and I feel sad about that. Sometimes I wish he would feel the same way, but those are just dreams that most likely won't come true and I just have to keep on wishing or just finally let go of all of this.

I just want to be happy with the guy that I love. I hate having to see him happy being with another girl, but I know that he is happy and that is all I can ask for even though it is not with me.