He messaged me back in July saying, 'Hey happy late 4th of July. I forgive you don't trip about it, hope we can still be friends.' I didn't message him back because I wasn't ready. I spent the rest of my summer rereading the message and I must have read it a thousand times.
School started back in August. I didn't talk to him at all and he didn't talk to me. I also didn't have any classes with him and I was grateful for that. Afterschool he messaged me again.
It stated, 'Hey I'm not sure if you are getting my message but I'm a dick I realize I'm a huge dick to you and it wasn't fair for you to put yourself out there and I just looked away I'm sorry I should be the one asking for forgiveness I'm just too stupid to realize until its too late I'm sorry hopefully you do get this think about it and at the end hopefully I can be your friend again.'
I didn't message him back until three days later because I was scared of getting hurt again.
I messaged him, 'And you couldn't say this in person or earlier because I felt like the biggest idiot for the time in my life and for that I can't even forgive myself for being foolish and thinking with my heart ad I hadn't done that in years.'
He replied, 'Then I will apologize in person then I just get super nervous and stutter a lot I feel stupid too I feel like an asshole.'
The next day Matthew tried to come up to me to apologize because I wanted to hear it in person like it should be. But when I saw him approach I really didn't want to hear it because it hurts, just like now since my heart is aching and it hurts. I don't like to feel this kind of pain because it feels like a punishment. I gave him a signal to stop because I couldn't hear since I wasn't ready to listen. I barely heard him because as he approached I just heard white noise. Since Wednesday I had tried not to be alone so he wouldn't approach me but my luck ran out. I haven't told anyone because I don't want to bring in others to my problems. So, I am just suffering by myself and I haven't felt so alone in my life before and it scares me to a point. It was dumb of me to like him because I knew deep down that it would just ruin me.
We started speaking to each other again and for the first time, I didn't know how long that it would last. And I was scared of not knowing if our friendship would last because he is a part of me.
YOU ARE READING
Learning To Let Go
Short StoryElizabeth was just a girl who fell in love with her best friend, Matthew. but there comes a time when enough is enough and a choice has to be made to confess or move on.
