Learning To Let Go

The Falling

I met Matthew in the ninth grade and at first I didn't get along with him whatsoever but we were in the same group of friends and ran in the same social circles so we were bound to be friends anyway. And that is what we became. He became my best friend and I was his. He would talk to me about anything and everything about what was going on in his life. I was there always listening and didn't complain because we were each other's diaries, what we told each other remained between us always and I never told a soul the secrets he would tell me.

There comes a point in life where lines get blurred and the heart takes over the rational side of a person and that is what happened to me.

In the tenth grade, Matthew and I had some classes together and we would always sit next to each other and I would always help him out in class since I was smarter than him and he would keep me entertained and everything was good and I was happy. During this time his first girlfriend broke up with him and I was there when he needed me.

I was always the good friend, best pal, or bestest friend, and at first, that didn't bother me since I was just one of the guys. I was never that type of girl who cared about their appearance, about wearing makeup and if certain types of shoes matched my outfit that I wore that day. I know that this isn't a big deal to other people who have real issues going on in their lives but to me, I know that it is time to do something.

During the first semester of eleventh grade, Matthew got a new girlfriend, Penelope, and that sucked you know because I knew her well and he never told me about his new relationship because he claimed that he forgot to tell me and I had to hear it from someone else.

Then a few months later he broke up with her and once again he never told me I had to find out about it from Penelope herself. We had our first real ugly fight after that and I was so heartbroken because he started to keep things from me and that is something that has not happened before.

I remember this one time when he came up to me in my English class and he asked me if we were okay and I just didn't have the strength to respond or look at him. And when he left, I started crying to myself.

I remember that day so well because on that same day I knew that I was falling for him and there was nothing that I could do to stop it.