Moonchild. one || l.l. [COMPLETE]

fifty five,

in this life,
i once felt hope,
i sometimes still believe in this,
but each moment a little less.

i feel abandoned in my despair,
and it's difficult to repair,
i get broken each day some more,
keeping these emotions in my core.

i find myself hiding behind this smile,
the one that shows my denial,
i have thoughts of lonesomeness,
which no person should possess.

i camouflage this so well;
it feels like i'm in hell,
i hurt on the inside,
trying to push these demons aside.

i want something better,
to not feel all this terror,
i know it can be manageable;
there are things that make life tolerable.

i just cannot find the thrill,
like when i was a child with a one dollar bill,
i remember when dreams were imaginable,
now it feels like I'm undoubtedly fallible,
i wish to find myself soon.

this feels as if i'm trapped in a cocoon.
i would like to hatch,
not be so detached,
i need to end this coldness,
before death leaves me soulless.

-🌙-