Project Bata

Chapter Twenty-six : Parting Pieces

Do you know when things started going wrong?

It's when you found yourself lost and drowning in a routinary life you created. It's when you felt like somehow you are at the bottom of the pit again and take the first climb again. It's like seeing things black and white, plain and pale. Like you have to get up every day feeling empty and listless again. It was all too familiar feeling bottling up in my vessels. I was sick of it but too proud to hold it still within my system.

I felt numb. Void of any emotions, unable to react like a normal human being. I was just like this two years ago when I was freshly wounded by the reality that my parents were dead and gone. I was feeling the exact same thing, except that I somehow lost a part of me that wasn't mine, to begin with.

It was painful. He made me feel he was mine to begin with, he made me feel like I am not alone in this cruel world. He was indeed my sunshine to my gray skies. He made me happy again.

I am in love with him. He wasn't. I have never been in love, this is the very first time. I could hardly believe myself that I was capable of such.

He took it too lightly and his motives were insincere. He says the sweetest and a lot of things he doesn't mean. I should've have sensed it when I uttered such words to him. Yet it doesn't matter if he doesn't feel the same way, it was a losing battle from the start. I was a clueless soldier on a battle, that scarred me and left me broken.

He didn't even care one bit. He didn't even call me last night. I guessed he got what he wanted. He got the girl he wanted by using me. At least, I have a clear view of what was happening behind me. I was well aware of how heartless he is.

I muted out and busied myself the world by planning on working double shifts on my weekend part-time job during this weekend to compensate the lost time I have. I was miserably failing with my personal life. How wrong can it go more?

"Vanessa, ginusto mong magdouble shift diba? Ikaw nalang ang ipapadala ko sa kiosk sa The Grounds," our manager had her smug smile as she pushes the chicken mascot head on my hand. It can go wrong, indeed.

"Pumunta ka dun, isuot mo 'yan at magbigay ka ng flyers. Easy, at ito pa! Halfday off, pasalamat ka at yan lang ang napala mo sa kaka-absent mo," she retorted. I nodded at her and picked up the remaining suit in a large plastic bag. I don't have the right nor the energy to argue back and state my predicaments. I heard a few snickers from my co-workers but I paid no attention as I exited the locker room.

*

The place was jammed pack, it was an open area, audiences roam freely in the vicinity. It was like a mini music festival. I even heard some famous local bands were invited to this event, hence the large population of youth is present.

I was sweating profusely inside this damned mascot suit as I handed out flyers. It wasn't really effective, but it will catch attention.

A chicken, a happy chicken and I the human inside feeling the contrary. Some were eager to take pictures with this mascot, me. I forced myself to do a little dance but to no avail. But it was a good thing that I was assigned to do this task, wasn't really in the mood to put on a smile while taking orders.

I heard a familiar intro tune of a song, I know it was coming from a veteran band in the industry. I stopped and quickly trudge towards the barricade that separates the music festival from the food kiosks. I leaned my arms as I listened to the song, it was one of the songs that my parents would dance to. I closed my eyes as I reminisce the moments that I caught them dancing and humming to this tune. Both genuinely happy and alive. I opted to open my eyes to suppress my building up emotions, it was a wrong move though.