This is "Top Secret"
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And
This is Bottom Secret ;->
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Three Wishes For Men
There were three men walking down a beach when they found a lamp laying in the sand. They rubbed the lamp and out came a genie who said "I'll give each of you a wish."
So the first guy says I want to be 10 times smarter, and then he started quoting Shakespeare.
Not to be outdone the second guy said I want to be 100 times smarter and then he started doing calculus in his head.
Well the third guy did not want to be outdone so he said I want to be a 1000 times smarter, and he turned into a woman.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Don't Do It!
HUSBAND: (watching a video) Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes! No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
WIFE: Honey, why you so mad? What are you watching?
HUSBAND: Our wedding ceremony.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Expensive Place
My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said, "Come on, get in the car. We're going to the petrol station."
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A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner. "Ok I want to buy a pet, but I don't want a boring normal pet, no cats, or dogs or budgies I want something different." The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede. "really?" Says the man "How much?" The owner informs him that the talking centipede is ??50. Happy with the unusual offering the man pays the money and takes his new pet home.
On getting home he lays the match box with the centipede in it on the table, opens it and says "Hello mr centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede says nothing. Figuring it must be tired from the journey he decides to leave it for an hour and try again later.
An hour later he opens the match box and says "Hello mr centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede again says nothing. Starting to get suspicious the man decides he will give it one more hour, and if the centipede doesn't talk he will take it back to the shop for a refund.
An hour later the man opens the match box and says "Hello mr centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede says "I heard you the first time you moron! I'm putting my shoes on!"
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Smart Doggy
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter...
My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.
I know...
How?
My dog told me.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
There Are 20 Types Of Facebookers:
1. Over Photo Editors
2. Extremely Frequent Status Updaters
3. Page Likers
4. Attention Seekers
...5. Wall Posters
6. Farmvillers
7. Cars For Profile Picturers
8. Depressing Status Updaters
9. Spammers
10. Swearers
11. Constant Status Likers
12. Stalkers
13. Fake Relationship Statusers
14. Inboxers
15. Chatters
16. Pokers
17. Guys Who Take Photos In Mirrors
18. People Who Cant Spell
19. Song Lyrics For Status Makers
20. Over reactors
Who Are You ... ?
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I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A
little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do
you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
ballooning, or rock climbing ?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No," I said. "I've never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be
80?"
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Why in wedding ceremony woman sits on left n man on right??
Coz according to balance sheet all assets are on right side and liabilities on left side.!
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Best Job Ever
I asked a friend of mine what he is doing. He told me, he is working on, "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment".
I was impressed! On further asking, I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water... under his wife's supervision!
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
