The Brain Transplant

c h a p t e r | t h i r t e e n

"We build it up, we tear it down
We leave our pieces on the ground
We see no end, we don't know how
We are lost and we're falling
Hold onto me" - Rob Thomas 

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Recap

I cleared my throat.

"Hey where did yo-"

I was cut off as I was drowned in darkness.

-🧠-

I was so accustomed to waking up in hospitals. It was honestly so crazy how much it's been happening lately. Guess that's what happens when you're dying.

Speaking of dying, I wonder what Tyler and Derek would think about it and the fact that I have cancer. Would they think I'm just some sick kid and leave like everyone else has? I should probably tell them now that I had just passed out right in front of them. I had also talked to Dr. Mark a few days ago and he took some tests. My cancer has spread drastically throughout my brain. I could hardly remember some of the things I did yesterday, my memory is getting foggier.

I heard noise coming from all around me. People were talking, saying my name with such a sad tone.

"She's already dead, isn't she?" It sounded like my fathers voice.

I'm not dead, am I?

"We were just getting to know each other, too. She was such a sweet heart, I hope she rests in peace." That was Derek's voice.

I tried to open my eyes, prove to these people I wasn't dead. My eyes seemed to be super glued shut. I felt my tears burning inside my eyes as I tried to move the rest of my body. I couldn't move anything.

"I really wanted to get to know her." Tyler's voice clouded my mind.

Im not dead! I wanted to tell them.

"She was such a good friend, and now that I'm recovered I can't see her anymore."

It was Sarah's voice I heard.

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't even talk. My mind was screaming for me to move, get up, you're not dead! But I couldn't do anything.

I heard more noise around me as the heart monitor went crazy.

Then finally my eyes opened. I sat straight up as all my tears streamed down my face. I screamed too. I was having a panic attack and a mental breakdown all in one. My body shook as nurses and Dr. Mark rushed in and out of the room. All I could do was sob. Dr. Mark tried to hold me still, tried to stop me from shaking. I couldn't. My father ran inside the room and held my hand. My shaking was uncontrollable as another sob racked through my body. Derek and Tyler ran in the room.

Derek came to my left side. "It's okay, Day." He whispered to me. "Shh, calm down."

I was shaking extremely hard and my crying wouldn't stop. Tyler came to my right side and rubbed my arm. "Day, you need to calm down."

A scream passed my lips and my crying continued. My panic attacks never lasted this long, and were never this severe. It felt like an out of body experience. It was like something else was controlling my body and all I could do was sit back and watch.

Dr. Mark came over to moved Derek out of the way. I felt a sharp pain in my left arm and my whole world went dark once again.

-

"Yes, she's had panic attacks before. They have never been this bad, though."

I groaned and went to rub my head. I had a painful migraine and I just wanted to curl up and die. I mentally chuckled at my death jokes.

My eyes slowly opened and the bright lights hurt my head even more. I quickly shut my eyes and rubbed my head, groaning again. My dad then came over and put a cold wash cloth on my forehead. "Thank you," I whispered so softly that it would be hard for anyone to hear. But my father did. "If do anything for you, sweetheart."

I smiled and decided I was tired and needed to fall back asleep. I steadied out my breathing and imagined happy thoughts. Slowly I drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

-

"Day, I don't know if you can hear me, but sorry I was kind of a jerk to you."

I faintly heard a voice, one that sounded like Tyler's. I moved a little and then stayed still. I was still half asleep.

"I want to get to know you better. I mean, I think I deserve to know why one minute you were standing and smiling and then the next minute you were one the floor passed out." He chuckled awkwardly.

I opened my eyes to look at him. He was standing to my left side, because the right side was where the machines were. I looked straight into his piercing green eyes and gave him a small smile. He returned it. I patted the space next to me on the bed. "Come sit down."

He reluctantly agreed and sat down on the bed next to me. I wanted to tell him so many things. Like how I was sick, and what he witnessed was a symptom of the sickness. And how I was going to die in a month.

Oh lord that sounds horrible. How do you break that to someone? Like, 'Oh hey, I know we're getting to be good friends, but I'm literally dying. So please don't get too attached because I've only got a month left to live.'

What the hell. That is like the last thing people want to hear. But somehow I'd have to skip in the fact that all this is because I've got cancer. What if he would think I'm just a sick freak? That would be so awkward, and sad that I lost a friend too. Maybe, I just shouldn't tell him? What if it's better that he doesn't know, and then I'll just say I'm moving in a month and he'll never see me again? That's probably the best choice.

"Daykota."

I jumped at the sound of Tyler's voice.

"Oh, uh, yes?"

I heard him chuckle from beside me. That was a sound I could get used to.

"I said your name like 5 times, you were so deep in thought that you didn't hear me."

I blushed a little at the fact that he tried to get my attention. "Sorry. Did you want to tell me something?"

"Yeah, Derek's here."

Oh. I was hoping I could actually talk to Tyler. Tyler always leaves when Derek's around, and I wasn't surprised when Tyler started to get up from his spot on the bed.

"Where are you going?" My voice was quieter than expected, and I sounded pretty disappointed.

"I was just leaving."

-🧠-

So, have you read my other book Simple Things yet? If not, you should! It's full of small poems or stories that are mostly self written.

Until next time,
Stella