Three Cheers For the Sweet Ghost of You

The Fear of Falling Down

Four years had passed since that day, Gerard had stopped his drinking and smoking because of his little baby girl, now three years old called Bandit, and because he finally realized that it was the death of him, he was willing to die at any second, thoughts like “How much of blood do I need to lose to die?” or “How can I kill myself and have no chance of being saved?”, he could not do it anymore. He simply couldn’t. It was though, but he did it…

But now… Something bigger was going to be the death of him. A treat to the country and they are going today to the war to stop this tyranny. But he did not know if he was going to get out alive.

Gerard couldn’t sleep, his mind was confused and scared, and he would be damn stupid if he wasn’t.

He just kept laying in bed till the moment he realized that Lindsey was no longer by his side, sleeping like an angel… His guardian angel; and that made him realize that he had a duty, and he needed to get ready to be killed.

Gerard stood up fast, trying to wash away the awful thought and went to the bathroom, when he left, he got downstairs and went into his small room, where he would sit and draw all night with a few cups of latte by his side.

“Good morning” he heard the quiet voice behind him.

Gerard couldn’t keep a smile hidden when he saw that calm and beautiful face in front of him, her brown eyes starring at him, shining, but soon he noticed that something was very wrong. Her eyes were red and also her nose and cheeks. Lindsey had been crying, that’s why he did not find her in bed.

At the same moment his smile vanished, turning dark and sad.

“Morning” he said, getting closer, with his arm around her waist and kissed her in the forehead, then kissing her lips. “I’ll come back to bother you a little more, don’t worry”

“Why am I feeling like you’re lying, Gerard?”

“I promise, my wife… I’ll come back to you… To Bandit, and we will have a party”

She whipped away her tears and left a small laugh. He felt hope in her smile, and her hope suddenly turned into his hope. He wanted to believe that he was going to come back alive with his friends, not inside a black plastic bag so his family would bury his body. He did not want that. He wanted to come home by himself, so he would hug Lindsey and so he would sing Small Petunia of the Galaxy to his beloved daughter.

He had to come back to her. It was his only duty in life.

His family. His wife. His daughter…

“Daddy?” the loud cry woke him from his thoughts.

“Duty is calling, Daddy” Lyn-z smiled at him and pointed to the stairs.

Gerard ran to the stairs and entered the room by the side of his and Lindsey’s room and found Bandit sitting in bed, crying loudly. He sat by her side in the bed and before he could say anything she grabbed his neck and hugged him tight. Gerard hugged her back and couldn’t help by not feeling sorry and sad as well.

“Hey, sweet heart… It’s over… Shhhh… It’s alright, it’s over, Bandit” he kept saying to her while hugging her, Bandit couldn’t stop crying until he started calming down bit by bit and released her father for a moment. “It’s just a bad dream, it’s over, okay? I’m here”

“Daddy is going to be with me forever?”

The question got him. He felt bad, but he couldn’t say something else to her.

“Yes, I’ll forever be by yourself to protect you from evil, my love”

She smiled, and he could not smile. Her smile is contagious.