ozone 》TWICE

fragile

THREE WEEKS LATER.
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MINATOZAKI SANA'S P.O.V.
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I'm not like Jeongyeon, Momo, or Mina. I'm completely different when it comes to expressing myself. It's not as easy as I'd like, but it's easy enough to where I can open up to someone if I want to. And Dahyun is someone I've wanted to open up to for so long, but my fear of harming her kept everything in the back of my mind. In that way, I'm similar to all three of them.

I wasn't raised to hide my emotions. In fact, my parents greatly encouraged me to express them. I think it was because I wasn't very loud then. I mostly kept to myself because it's what I was used to. I didn't have a brother or a sister, and no one else really visited. So I was alone until I met Mina, and Momo. And then Jeongyeon was thrown into the mix, and I felt better.

But that doesn't mean that I don't feel alone at all because it's quite often that I do. Especially now because Nayeon is focused on Jihyo and Jeongyeon, and Jeongyeon doesn't want to be around anyone. Momo is too caught up on Mina, Dahyun is too caught up with Momo, and Chaeyoung and Tzuyu have always been in their own little world.

I'm worried about Jihyo as well, and I know that it's selfish to feel sad because of myself rather than Jihyo, and-

I breathe in, wiping my eyes as the hot water seemingly falls harder against my skin. I don't like thinking. When you think, you become more messed up. I feel hands cup my cheeks, but there's no one in front of me, and I can't help but allow myself to cry even harder because I want someone to be in front of me. I want someone, a fucking saint, to come and save all of us. I want the hurting to stop. I want Jihyo to be alright, and I want her to know that I love her, and that I'm not as mad as the others.

I want Jeongyeon to understand Jihyo's side, and I want her to be happy for once in her fucking life. I want Momo to go back to her old self.

I want too much.

I ask too much of the world.

It hurts.

I should consider myself lucky. I don't have to struggle when it comes to my feelings with Dahyun, I don't have to worry about her lying to me, and I don't have to deal with wanting to die so much. I'm a normal mess at best just waiting to explode. All of us aren't perfect. We are far from it. With so many of us wishing death upon ourselves, and Mina dabbling in some type of pill that a girl gave her, well, it's only natural that we can't be happy. 

And I hate that Mina turned to some foreign pill that could seriously harm her just because she's so afraid of hurting someone. The first night she told me she's been taking them was four days ago as she was throwing up into a toilet at nearly three in the morning. She swears up and down that they'll make her better for everyone, but she's changing for reasons that can't be anything good. It's concerning how she, of all people, accepted fucking pills from a stranger so easily. It's concerning how she, of all people, really began taking them in a desperate attempt to fix herself, and it's concerning how she's becoming more and more reckless. Too dizzy from thinking, I turn the faucet.

I don't bother with dressing up or drying my hair (Jeongyeon would be mad if she still cared), settling with one of Momo's shirts, and a pair of Mina's shorts (they have little penguins on them, and they remind me of how things used to be). I can only hope that my eyes aren't still red from crying and rubbing at them as I intertwine my fingers with Dahyun, Jackson leading us out the door.

It's peaceful, the way Jackson doesn't push us to talk, and the way Dahyun hums quietly. Her anxiety has gotten better though she still has intense moments. I don't mind them; I'll do anything it takes to keep that beautiful smile on Dahyun's face.

More than halfway to JYPE, I decide to open my mouth, "How is she?" Jackson turns his head, his eyebrows furrowed. His features eventually soften as Dahyun looks at him as well.

"She's up on her feet. Jeongyeon didn't do a lot of damage," it's a promise, I can tell by the way he says it. "From what I know, Jinyoung hasn't done anything to her," I clench my fists, already beginning to speak again before Jackson shakes his head. "I wouldn't allow him to anyway. I'd say that Jinyoung's temper got the best of him when she defended Jeongyeon and Nayeon. He's not typically like that."

"I don't give a fuck how he's typically like," I deadpan. Dahyun's hand tightens around mine, and I try to calm myself. "If he wants to try and hurt anyone again, I'll-" I cut myself off, exhaling heavily. I can't do much of anything right now. I'm nothing.

Jackson smiles sympathetically as we stop in front of the doors. The new training room that Jeongyeon completely destroyed is now in the process of being rebuilt, hopefully stronger than ever. Apparently they didn't make them too much stronger last time like they said they did. There's a thought that won't leave my head, one that tells me that Jeongyeon won't be able to stay free forever. I'm sure Jinyoung recognizes her as a high threat now.

As we enter, Jackson points into the direction of the room Jihyo is staying in before heading off. It's nice that he trusts us to some degree. The door slides open to reveal a girl standing in front of Jihyo, one I'm sure is Somi, and then there's one more on her left side. I can't recognize her for the life of me. I come closer as Somi turns around, a soft apology leaving her lips as she dismisses herself. The girl is too sweet for her own good.

"You look like hell," Jihyo laughs softly, her eyes dark and lifeless. The girl beside Jihyo straightens, staring at Dahyun like she's nothing but prey. I wrap my arm around her waist, looking over the girl once before turning back to Jihyo.

"It's called lack of sleep," I tell her, "so I must look like how you feel." 

"I won't sugarcoat anything this time," she bites her lip, and I can't help but reach for her hand. "I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for hurting Jeongyeon, and I'm sorry for causing harm to all of you. I never wanted to lie-"

"I know," I cut her off, and her eyes widen slightly. I stop myself from looking at the other girl. "But I don't know why. You can tell me when you want; I've always trusted you, Jihyo. You're the type to have a reason for everything. And you've protected all of us from so much that I doubt you'd truly intend to hurt any of us." I squeeze her hand, and the way her lips curl up into a shy smile makes my heart soar. I'm glad that she still has some type of genuine smile in her. "I don't know if I've told you, but I love you. I can only hope that Jeongyeon will understand."

"She will," Dahyun adds, voice soft. "She always did come around." It didn't take long for any of us to figure out what Jeongyeon had developed with Jihyo once her secret came out. They both confided in each other, and if Jeongyeon's once bright eyes when she looked at Jihyo were any indication, feelings definitely became involved. Nayeon, too, but I won't tell anyone else if they don't know.

"Thank you both. This," she chokes, and I smile reassuringly as I wipe a tear away from her cheek, "I'm sorry for crying, but this means a lot. Does everyone else hate me?"

"No one hates you, my dear," I say. "No one ever could. The others will come around, we both promise."

"I really wish there was a way to truly express my gratitude. I don't deserve you two, really."

"It's quite the opposite," Dahyun speaks up. Jihyo's eyebrows furrow before she adds, "We don't deserve you. My parents did always tell me that one day God would send me an angel. It's cheesy, but I believe you're the angel. You're the exact replica of one."

"That's sweet, Dahyun." Jihyo's eyes finally brighten just the slightest bit. Before she can speak again, I hear someone clear their throat.

"Are these yours, Jihyo?" She brushes her hair back, and the way her eyes lock on mine send a chill down my spine.

"They're supposed to be the girls I take care of, yes," Jihyo shifts in her chair to look at the girl. "This is Sana and Dahyun."

"Jennie," she replies smoothly. "I'm not officially in charge of my group, but I'd like to think I am. One of your friends knows one of mine, I believe. They met as Jinyoung was buying us." The way she speaks is nothing short of cold, and I can't help the feeling in my stomach and chest that warns me of something I can't decipher.

"You're from YG?" Dahyun questions, and I fight the protective feeling that makes me want to wrap her up away from Jennie.

"I am. A pathetic little bastard, I'll tell you," the corner of her lips curve upwards into a smile. "You're adorable, what sign?"

"Gemini."

"Oh, I love those. Sana?" 

"What?" I straighten myself to match her gaze. 

"What sign? I'm curious. You don't look like any I'm used to."

"What are you used to?" Jennie laughs, and Jihyo's eyes flicker back and forth between us. I'm suddenly curious as to why she's even here because I highly doubt she knows Jihyo personally, "and why are you here?"

"Earth, fire, and air. Are you a water?" Jennie comes closer to me causing Dahyun to back away. The same protective instinct that I had buried comes back. 

"You didn't answer my question."

"Answer mine, and I'll answer yours, darling." She plays a nice game, but that's all I'll give her. Somehow I believe she would understand Jeongyeon. Maybe Mina herself.

"Earth. Capricorn."

"Lovely, I'm a Capricorn as well. I hope we get along just as Lisa did with Mina." I stiffen as my thoughts flood back to Mina, and the pills, and how someone from YG gave her them. Could it have been Lisa? Or maybe it was Jennie. Fuck, it could have been anyone. That doesn't stop the heavy fire I feel boiling in my veins. Whoever gave Mina the pills has no clue what the hell she started, and I can't get the thought that Mina could end up hurt out of my head. 

My mind races, and I feel my pulse speed up. I feel a body under my hands, and I can't see straight at all, and everything is too fucking loud. There's a natural feeling that I've never felt before that comes from God only knows where, so I allow it to happen. When I blink, I notice Jennie a couple of feet away with pieces of rock trailing in front of her, the anger still rising inside of my chest. If they want to hurt Mina, I'll have to hurt them, I guess. It only seems right.

And through the mess of my emotions taking over, I can tell that Jennie has been mature much longer than I will ever be because the way she guides herself into the air on a leafy vine so effortlessly is nothing but skilled. She's fast, too, the way her hands and feet move to redirect everything I try to send towards her. Really, I'd much rather just use my fucking hands, but there's the heavy realization that I'm maturing, and that I should really calm down because Dahyun and Jihyo could end up hurt, but I can't stop myself from knocking Jennie back down to her feet, forcing her up against an empty bookshelf, "The fuck did Lisa give to Mina?" My words come out as a growl, and I cringe as Jennie smiles, redirecting herself away from me. Something tightens around my ankles, but I'm quick to dissolve the strong, dark vine.

"Depends," she replies, and I feel sick. My muscles are becoming weaker, but my mind and heart are still pounding with emotion and thought, "pills?" I bite into my lip hard as I clench my fists once more, finally able to slam her into a wall. I hear someone yell, Dahyun, Jihyo, or even Jennie, I can't tell as I grab onto the front of her shirt recklessly. 

"Calm down," she breathes. I feel myself smile though I don't mean to, a white hand coming to rest at Jennie's neck. "Sana!" Her words are choked, her eyes wide as the hand tightens around her throat. I laugh, and I hate how I feel so powerful at the fact that I've got someone under me, practically begging to just breathe. To live.

I feel something envelop me, pulling me back hard until I'm several feet away from Jennie. I blink to try and see clearer, the image of Jihyo checking on Jennie as I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. I feel sick, and my head fucking hurts, and now I can't breathe, and I want to die.

"Sana," Dahyun's voice is mellifluous to my ears, a warm, welcoming home that I want to stay in, "Sana, what the hell?" I smile once more, allowing the fatigue to settle in my soul.

"Mina," I force out, my voice raspy and barely there. "Mina."

"Fuck," Dahyun swears, and my heart drops as I realize what I've done. "Jihyo, is she okay?"

"Jennie's alright. Jackson and Jaebum are coming to get her," I'm not sure how long it is after Jihyo speaks, but I hear doors slam open violently. As I look around, I take in the sight of the room, which in simple terms, is a complete mess. Jennie gives me a look, one that's sympathy and an apology all in one. I try apologizing as well, but I can't. The words don't come out because all I'm worried about is Mina and those stupid fucking pills that are going to ruin her.

I stand up surprisingly easy despite my fatigue, my apology long lost as I stumble towards her once more. I don't want to hurt Jennie, I really don't, but my mind won't function like I want it to, and I find myself being pulled back by stronger arms than Dahyun's. Cold metal wraps around my wrists, and I scoff, straining against them. I hear them snap, and my body nearly moves on its own, wrapping Jinyoung up in what I believe could be several vines, but I'm not sure where I could have gotten them, before holding him up against the wall like I did to Jennie, "You wanna hurt us again? Dare you to try it."

Jinyoung growls, low in his throat, "Goddamn it, Jihyo, the needle!" I turn, surely dropping Jinyoung. I want to feel terrible, but my body refuses to let me truly feel, and I hate it because I want to be normal, and I want to have control.. There's a sharp pain shooting up my leg and pouring into every other part of my body, and I swear, my eyes locking onto Jihyo's. They're soft, and Dahyun's hand is on my shoulder, and I can't fucking see now because everything is black, and-

I feel fragile as Dahyun kisses my forehead, her cheeks wet.
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6.5.18

A/N: an update for the hell of it but also bc this reached 6000 views & 100 comments on AFF and im still shaking bc wtfff,, also it would be unfair if i didnt update here even if no one is reading this!! thank you :)