What is happiness?
Something so simple yet so fucking hard to attain
Or maintain or keep
Happiness is like time
It only last for as long as you use it wisely.
I tried
Being happy
Laughing
Smiling
Joking
Its all for show
Because when the sun goes to bed
And the curtains close
I cry for the brokeness still there
The lonliness
It all waits for me like a loving wife after a long day of work
It serves self doubt and self hatred on a silver platter
I eat it with regret and longing for a better meal
But it fills me
I want to be like her and even him
They never worry about what they can't control
Nothing bothers them
Their smiles are genuine
Their laughs are musical pieces mozart could only dream of playing
They dream in color and pastels
Only knowing the cup as half full
I dream in despair or anguish
I see the cup as empty
What is happiness?
Happiness is what you make it
I dont know what to make of this state I'm in
I invite happiness
But its too cold here
Its too far
So happiness doesnt visit often
And I have nothing to appeal to what it wants
What it needs
When the night comes
I am wrapped in sadness
Its consistent
Its persisitent
Its always there
Should I consider it a friend or enemy?
Because it comes no matter what
Its never too cold
Or too far
Sadness lives here
Happiness has no loyalty
So why do we seek it?
Why do we crave it?
YOU ARE READING
Cursed To Live
PoetryThis is a book of poetry explaining the hardships I've faced with depression, anxiety and youth.
