30 days | Jikook ✅

letter to you:

to my beloved beautiful jungkook:

I don't know why I am writing this, because I really hope that this letter never gets to you, because if it does that means I am dead. It also means I never had time to show you just how much I really did love you.

So before you getting mad at me for leaving you, please finish reading this letter.

I'm really sorry for putting this letter in the brown envelope of yours, and yes, i know about your illness.

that's why im never surprised when you said you'd forget things in future, it's because I know everything, jungkook-ah.

when you told me you wanted a divorce, I already doubted that. Things have been changing and changing between us for the recent two years and what hurt us the most was neither of us took the initiative to try, to take out the first step.

I think that's basically our problem, lol.

but that's okay, I guess the past 30 days of us spending time together, doing things that we used to do or hadn't done before, was pretty much enough for people like us who are going to die anyway. 

it was indeed one hell of a 30 days ride with you, baby.

As for the reason I left you first, is because I can't bare to see you leaving me before I do.

I'm selfish, Jungkook.

I'm so sorry.

I took pills and I committed suicide, it's all because I want to die before you. I rather to die first than to see you suffering in front of me as all I can do was literally nothing, Jungkook.

I'm really, really sorry for being selfish, for leaving you alone in this battle.

I should've gone through all these with you, but I know myself well. My heart couldn't handle all these, seeing you going through pain that you don't deserve at all.

my beautiful jungkook,

even until today, and the future days, you're still so beautiful to me, way too beautiful.

at the end of the day, I had no idea whether you will still remember me, but I just wanted to tell you I'll never ever find someone like you, ever. 

you're so perfect, jungkook.

when I met you for the first time,  I'll never ever bother to find someone else because my heart is already locked onto you, even if you haven't feel the same way for me that time.

Throughout the years, you have shown me what love is and what it feels like to be loved. Every time you kissed me and our lips touched so softly, I could feel it. I got the same magical feeling as our first kiss. I could feel it when our hearts get so close they are beating as one.

jungkook, I know I'm going to sound extremely selfish for saying this.

but please, if you're ready, you can always come and find me. no matter how far we are that we won't be able to meet for the mean time, I'll always wait for you at the finish line.

I can't wait to see you, kookie.

I love you so much, my one and only.

Love,
jimin♡

-
jungkook's tears almost soaked the letter that he held in his trembling hands.

those truth behind those 30 days was eventually, undelivered.

to be honest, he was mad, so so mad at jimin for being so selfish, for leaving him all alone. but then he realises, if he was in that position,  he would've done the same thing like jimin.

guess this is all because they were both so in love with each other.

yes, put the blame on the word: love. 

jungkook wipes his tears away with the back of palm before standing up and make his way towards the veranda. 

the place that jimin last stood, the balcony that jimin jumped down from.

he stood by the edge, holding onto the rail as he stared down at the street, then back to the building in front of him.

his eyes then stared at the blue sky that is accompanied by the shining bright sun.

he smiles towards the sky, and says: I'm coming, my baby jimin.

he soon felt a hard impact against his whole body, his eyes shut and would never want to open again.

hoping to meet jimin at the place that jimin had promised to wait for him.

~ the end ~
💌