The de Vere Inheritance

Chapter Seven - 3rd July 1632

There was still anger and frustration hanging in the air. It was extremely early in the morning, but Elizabeth had been awake for hours. She'd woken to wracking coughs as usual, but they'd been much worse that morning. It was all down to the stress of the evening before. She truly felt there was no way back for herself and Eric after the argument that had taken place the evening before. Elizabeth had reiterated her wishes to stay in Paris after Eric left, and she had finally told him how she really felt. He now knew that she thought their marriage entirely over and that she had contemplated leaving him for some months now. Despite knowing that she should be glad to finally be free and proud that she had taken such a stance for herself, Elizabeth could not help the empty feeling that was settling over her as she sat on the floor of the parlour in her nightgown. Things were rather untidy, as Eric had spent most of the evening ransacking every cupboard and drawer in search of any of his belongings that he might have forgotten about. Elizabeth suspected he had also taken some of her jewellery. He'd certainly left with more luggage than he'd arrived with in Paris. Their rule had always been to travel light but Eric had clearly forgone that conclusion to take as much as he could of Elizabeth's own money.

The lodgings felt empty now. There was still furniture and her belongings but Elizabeth felt as if she was intruding upon someone else's home. She could not place the sensation in her stomach either. She did not quite know how to describe how she felt about being single again. Of course, others would not see her as that. She would be pitied and mocked as a woman who could not keep her husband. No matter the real details, in circumstances like her own, Elizabeth knew that the woman was always seen to be at fault. They would say that she had not been able to satisfy Eric, and in some ways that was true. Eric had not been satisfied for more than a few years though and it was partly of his own making. If he'd not pulled away from her so after she'd lost their child then they might have been able to recover their relationship a little. It was not to be though. Elizabeth should have felt liberated. That was a word they used at those women's meetings. Elizabeth could not bring herself to feel that way, as she still grieved for what she could have had with Eric if they had both tried harder. Deep down within her she knew that there was not more that she could have done but little thoughts niggled at her mind over the course of the night that made her doubt herself. Eric had always wanted her to think that she was at fault where their strained relationship was concerned.

Unable to sleep, Elizabeth had decided to return to the parlour to say goodbye to Eric, but he'd already left. He'd somehow managed to sneak out without making a sound and now Elizabeth was entirely alone. She did not have a friend to speak of, and her mother and brothers were locked away in the tower. That was it, she was alone. It was a sobering thought. She'd always considered herself as tied to Eric for the rest of her life. She'd have been in his shadow, following his instructions to the letter and abiding his every rule. Now she had no place without a husband. society would frown upon her. Perhaps that might have served to bother her if she had been in better health.

There was nothing else for Elizabeth to do but try and define the time she would have left in Paris. She sorted through what little belongings she had to see what she could sell on and as much as she hated the thought of going out into the world, she forced herself to dress and venture out. There were no funny looks; no laughter followed her and no one stopped her to badger her with questions about Eric. She didn't quite know why, but Elizabeth had expected everyone to know, to have seen in her eyes that her husband had left her and to look down on her because of it. instead she was able to amble through the Paris streets alone at a leisurely pace. This left her time to really think about what had happened the evening before and compartmentalise it. When she really considered it, there was nothing stopping her from remaining in Paris indefinitely apart from her illness. Once she had heard the reading of her father's will she would be free to go where she pleased provided she had the finances.