The de Vere Inheritance

Chapter Eleven - 7th August 1632

The sound of the heavy rain as it pommelled the window was quite soothing upon Elizabeth's shattered nerves.  Her head ached and sleep evaded her.  The first strains of light were beginning to emerge across the floorboards through the opened shutters.  Athos had wanted to wake with the natural light as he had business to attend to that morning.  Elizabeth had not needed the light to wake her as she had not been able to fall asleep.  She had coughed and spluttered all night but she had done so in the far corner of the room behind the dressing screen as she tried not to wake the slumbering musketeer.  She had felt hot and suffocated trying to share a bed with him, and her head throbbed as a result of it all.  

Athos had returned with her the morning after her stay in the garrison to find the apartment empty again.  Athos had sent for a locksmith who changed the locks and ensured the man would not give out a key to anyone who called upon him for one.  Elizabeth thought that was certainly something that someone as cunning as Eric might do.  Elizabeth was so tired now that usually when Athos arrived she was nearly always asleep, but it was comforting to feel him lying down beside her and placing a comforting arm around her.  During the night though, she had been so hot that she had thrown his arm off and pushed him over onto his side of the bed.  She had kicked the counterpane off, had dipped her hands in cool water, she had even wet her hair to see if that might help.  Nothing had worked.  Elizabeth was no fool.  She knew that this was likely a symptom of her illness that was only going to get worse.

She was dressed by the time that Athos woke, and he threw her a look of bleary eyed surprise as she emerged from behind the dressing screen to ask him if he would help her lace up her stays.  She stood in front of him and he pulled the ribbons taught, just about to tie them off when there was a loud crash against the wall from the other side.  

"What was that?" Athos growled.

"Next door," Elizabeth replied distractedly.  "They must be fighting again."

"Does that happen all the time?  Elizabeth no wonder you are not sleeping if that is all you can hear!"

Elizabeth sighed as he tied the ribbons and turned to face him.  "I feel sorry for them Athos.  They do not fight all the time, but it happens once or twice a week.  I think Madame Deschamps is prone to having ideas that her husband believes are above her status.  She goes to those women's meetings you know.  I have not really spoken to her since they told me to leave."

"I am not going to diminish a woman's right to her own mind but perhaps she should have a care not to do so in front of her husband, for the sake of her neighbours."  Athos stood up and began to dress himself.  Elizabeth turned away to try and busy herself with something, suddenly not sure she could bring herself to say what she needed to.

"Athos I..."

She had turned back to him swiftly as he was pulling on his boots but the words had died on her lips.  How was she to put it?  "Elizabeth?"  He asked as he abandoned his boots and approached her, clearly thinking that something was wrong.  "You need to sit down, come on."

She pushed away his helping hands.  "Athos I need you to listen to me and I need you to respect what I say.  Do not try to interrupt me please because I am finding this hard enough as it is."

Tears pricked her eyes as Elizabeth watched Athos back away slightly, and she thought that something within his expression told her he already knew.

"What's wrong?"

"Athos I can't do this any more."  Elizabeth flung her arms wide, gesturing towards herself and Athos and the room at large.  "I have not the energy nor the drive.  I'm getting worse Athos.  I think the time has finally come for me to abandon thoughts of a life in Paris.  I need to go into the country.  I cannot take any of this any more.  I feel so suffocated by this city."  Athos was nodding slowly as if he understood all that she said.  "I'm going to leave as soon as I can get everything in order.  It should only take a few days to get everything arranged and put my affairs in order here.  I need to go before I become too ill to travel.  Even now the thought of the journey is abhorrent to me but it is a journey that I must make.  I do not think Paris is the place to be ill."

Athos looked stricken.  "I understand that you need to go, and I shall not try to stop you Elizabeth.  I am sorry that you must go though, and more than anything I am sorry for you, that you are suffering so and that..."  He broke off, unable to voice the words that they both knew to be true.  He sighed heavily before he spoke again.  "I am sorry that this has been your life.  You deserved a husband that really and truly devoted his life to ensuring you were happy."

"Perhaps if we had met earlier Athos, and if we had been different kinds of people..."

"But now I think neither of us are the marrying kind," Athos finished for her.  He closed the space between them then and drew her into his arms where he held her for a long time.  "If you need anything before you leave Elizabeth, you must let me know.  Just because we are no longer... whatever we were does not mean that we are not friends.  I can help you if you'll let me.  I also ask that you write to me.  Even if you only write me to tell me you have arrived safely in the country, so that I might have some peace of mind.  If I do not hear from you my mind will be filled with worry that you have met some trouble on the road and I'll wager I'll be tempted to ride out."

Elizabeth nodded her head against his shoulder.  "I think I can manage a letter Athos."

"Will I see you again before you leave?" he asked gently then as he pulled away a little to look down at her.

Elizabeth shrugged.  "I'm not sure.  You are a busy man Athos.  If I can find the time to come and seek you out to say goodbye then I will.  If you are busy though, perhaps I'll just leave a note."