reckless living • wolfstar & jily

Tower to Safety- WOLFSTAR

disclaimer: suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. please don't read this if you aren't ready. go to the end as i want to speak to you if you are suicidal. even if you aren't, still read it.

He set about pacing back and forth the stone floor of the Astronomy Tower. Nothing mattered anymore. His education didn't matter, his life didn't matter, he didn't matter. What's the point of going further if there's only failure ahead? Sirius Black craved for something to take him away. Wrap him in their cold arms and strangle him. Monsters had already taken over, torturing with their slow fire he likes to call Sirius Black. He was Sirius I'm-Disowned. Sirius I'm-a-Disappointment. Sirius-I'm-Worthless. Why weren't they killing him yet? Red dripped from his arm but he barely took notice. This should end it. Many words were etched upon his pale self. Nothing. Useless. Hated. Unwanted. Finally, a world where his family could rejoice as he no longer existed. Did his friends even care? Were they all people with masks on, pretending to care but really, they just wanted him gone? He couldn't blame them. He wanted him gone too. Damn this! It wasn't going fast enough. The fiery pits of hell had already made a spot for him. Hell can't be any worse then what he was living through now. Hell was where he belonged. The flames licking his body and heat searing through his bones. That's what he deserved. A chilly breeze swept past his shoulders, the window was inviting. He limped over there and stuck his head out. What if he jumped? It would be faster. He dragged his legs over the edge. If he pushed just a bit more, everything would go away.
****
"Where. Is. Padfoot?" Gasped Remus Lupin. His heart was pounding as his best friend who he sort of liked in that way, was gone. He had said he was going on a walk but they couldn't see him on the grounds. That made them suspicious. Why would Padfoot lie to them?
"I don't blooming know!" James ran his fingers through his hair. Remus could tell his was stressing loads but he was stressing ten times more.
"James, start from the first floor and work your way up. Peter, go with him if you like. I'll just start from the top." Remus babbled, his brain going fuzzy and confused. Other Gryffindors in the common room were giving them odd looks. The Marauders were never stressed out! They just assumed it was nothing and they were just overreacting.
"What if we get caught?" Peter squeaked nervously. Normally, it was Remus who was the one like this but now he couldn't care less about getting caught.
"I don't give a flying damn if we get caught." Remus said so firmly Peter didn't say a single word.
"Take my cloak if you're nervous. I just want to find Sirius even if I get detention for the rest of sixth year." James admitted sternly, shooting a scowl at Peter. He instantly regretted it but didn't voice his opinion. They left altogether, not before slamming the portrait shut.

"My, my, you're all in a dreadful mood, aren't you?" The Fat Lady mentioned before they turned the corner. Remus had to restrain himself from hexing the portrait green. No, they were all jolly jolly and they were going to go to a tea party now! Their best friend, who, may I mention, was going through a rough patch in life, was missing.

"No, we're absolutely elated! Our best friend totally isn't missing!" Remus snapped, taking the Fat Lady by surprise. He ignored her and made his way to his destination. The Astronomy Tower. He was running through a corridor when the Fat Lady was still thinking about the incident. Remus had always been the nice one. always polite to the portraits, ever argued with teachers, just a very good student. Now though, he was going insane. He knew he shouldn't have let Sirius go alone. The musty stench of the Astronomy Tower crawled up Remus' nose and before he knew it he was at the door. Decaying, the wooden, dark door stood menacingly in front of Remus and he knew there was no time to wait. His hand collided with the cold metal of the handle and he burst through the door to see Sirius sitting on the window ledge, just about to push off.

"SIRIUS!" He yelled, pupils becoming large at this alarming sight. His Sirius was about to do it. Not even realising that his knees were becoming weak, Remus bolted it to Sirius and pushed back on to the draughty, stone floor.