reckless living • wolfstar & jily

Hogwarts is Home II- WOLFSTAR

in case you forgot, in the last hogwarts is home, sirius proposed to remus after giving a speech on their graduation day but remus never got the chance to answer because death eaters attacked. heh. great.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, trying to gain the my attention. Him and I were in the Order of the Phoenix headquarters, and now that as Lily had finished making the tea, everyone was sipping and slurping in the next room, leaving both Remus and I alone. A day ago, we'd just left our lives of being childish prats behind, only during the blasted ceremony, we were interrupted by the reason we were sitting in that main room. Death Eaters. Yes, in case you're confused, James, Lily, Remus, Peter and I were recruited in to the Order of the Phoenix, just a day after graduating. They all said some rubbish about needing more people now because things were getting even more dangerous.
"Yes?" I looked up hopefully. I had to look up hopefully. You just know what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that beautiful yes. I wanted to see light coming from his eyes as he spoke, his melodic voice soft and wonderful. But I'm Sirius Black. I'm not allowed to have things go the right way.
"C'mere." By now, all the hope had ran away from me. Only bad stuff could happen now. Hurrah for being me. He wrapped his long arms around my shoulders and spoke muffled from the the thick material of my jumper, well, his actually. I stole it from his because I was a stalker and loved the scent of he carried.
"I don't think it's safe right now. To get married." He took a deep breath, "I love you. I love you so bloody much. I want to feel the ring snug around my fingers, but you know we can't. We're two boys. We could be getting killed every time we walk outside holding hands." Still, he gripped my own shaking hand, "You proposed to me in front of everyone and I was so happy I couldn't even care, but we have to care now." He kissed my knuckles, "Another reason, we could die in this war just because we brave enough to fight for the freedom of people who want to be free. I am probably going to get killed before you."
"Remus, you know every defensive spell of by heart, don't be daft."
"Still. I don't want you to be with me even when I'm in my muddy grave. It'll be so much more easier for you to move on." His voice shook, and I bit my lip so hard to stop myself from letting it go.
"I love you, Rem."
"I love you too."

He didn't know I'd die first, but oh, I knew.

And I did.

I saw James again when I died. I saw him! I actually saw his ugly face, and I was happy! We were both sobbing wrecks but hey, so was Lily. I found my brother again, my biological one. His face still so fresh and child like. He was brave, dying at just eighteen, and I couldn't be more proud of him. I found out a lot of stuff in Heaven, such as staring at people still in the mortal realm. Trust me, I only say that because it sounds all mysterious. It's just earth. I can look at whoever I want. I could look at Harry. But I chose Remus. The last time he kissed me was the day before my last, on my cheek. I now saw him sitting on some stone steps near my cousin, Tonks. Her face was covered in tears.
"Tonks, it's not your fault-"
"But it is! If I carried on duelling Bellatrix, Sirius would still be here! He would still be here making stupidly sarcastic comments and- and Harry would still have family." Her voice became all soft and guilty, only making me feel more guilty. I couldn't watch anymore. I couldn't watch the world that I left behind in such a damn mess. I would never look at it again. I would frolic oh so contentedly in the field of flowers. Alone. His hand not warming mine.