I'll Never Leave You

|Flashbacks|

Sam
I sit in Colby's room like I have been for weeks, not crying, but missing him. I've been alone even since he died, which was 2 months ago, everyone else is over it but I'm not. I filmed a video for the sam and colby channel alone, and posted it yesterday, I haven't been dealing with this well though, I've probably cut at least 15 spots on my body in the past week, I want to be with him. I miss waking him up in the morning so he can take his pills, I miss telling him to eat, I miss him grabbing me and squeezing me like I'm his teddy bear, I start to cry. "Colby come back." I say, obviously I don't get a response, I grab his pillow and hug it, it still smells like him. I get up and go into the bathroom, I grab the rusted razor blade, the one colby used to cut, and slice into my flesh, hoping it would kill me. Every month I cut deeper, I stopped eating and I don't sleep at night. I always look at the bullet hole in Colby's wall from his suicide, I then think about making another, I go out into the room and look at it, I cry harder and sit on the bed, I could only remember when he pointed the gun at me and then shot himself. This time I thought deeply about suicide, I wanted to die. Corey walks into the room and sits next to me. "Hey, you ok?" He asks, I shake my head. "No, i want colby to hug me, but he can't." I say, he hugs me. "It's not the same, Colby's hugs were always warm and he always kissed my forehead to make me feel better." I say, I push him away. "I'm going to bed, I need sleep." I say, he looks at me. "Ok, hang in there." Corey says, he leaves, I go to sleep.