Post 1x08 -- the most requested :) --- I wont blab much and here you go
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Cesar's head was spinning. Spooky wanted him to kill Latrelle.
Really just shoot him, boom. Murder a boy he had known since childhood, and then go to math class the next day?
What sort of sick joke life was this?
Why was Spooky okay with doing things like that? was he going to get used to this too? Did he want to? what was he going to do?
He had no idea what he was going to do. He had no idea what would happen tomorrow. He felt like nothing in his life made any sense right now.
He knew he wanted one thing right now – he wanted – no he NEEDED to see Monse.
He'd figured that out when he and Spooky had gotten back home and without even knowing it, he had stepped in his room, locked the door and jumped out the window realizing after a few minutes that he walking to Monse's house.
He swallowed oh God Monse, he really needed to see Monse. He had this terrible heart wrenching feeling as if today was going to be the last time he saw her.
It might as well be. He had no clue what tomorrow would bring. If Latrelle got to him well he would be dead, no question. But if he got to Latrelle first? Well the first question is would he do it? He didn't think he could and if he did, he was going to be a marked man – the Prophets wouldn't rest till they killed him too ... he had tried explaining that to Oscar, but Oscar had just looked at him like he was crazy "So what if you DON'T KILL HIM? Huh? Then what? you think Latrelle is going to hang out with you and play ball and pretend that he never pulled a gun on you? All because you're such a good kid? You show the prophets what happens when they pull out a gun on one of the Santos, THAT'S HOW we get them to leave us alone not by being a bunch of goodie two shoes, you follow me?"
He didn't really, he didn't get how violence could end violence, how killing would stop the killing, but he kept his mouth shut because he knew that it would be useless explaining that to Spooky.
Spooky thought he was protecting him, but he was killing him.
He reached Monse's window and saw her standing there her phone in her hand, a look of concentration on her face. He knew she was going through so much with her mom already, he didn't want to burden her with this, but she was literally the only person he could count on to keep him sane at this moment.
He tentatively rapped at her window, Monse whipped around "Cesar!" she exclaimed.
He climbed inside, and she started asking him if he was okay and what was wrong, but he couldn't hear her, all he could concentrate on how she made him feel. Just by looking at her he felt a hundred times better.
Desperate to feel like his life wasn't totally falling apart, he reached for her face, pulled her to him and kissed her. Deep and passionately. And when she kissed him back it felt like coming home. A home that didn't even exist for him. God he'd missed this so much.
Monse responded for a few seconds the gently pulled back "What's wrong?" she asked him softly.
"Oscar wants me to kill Latrelle" He said without missing a beat, she was the only one he could tell what exactly was on his mind.
"WHAT?" Monse's eyes widened.
Cesar nodded slowly, "Yeah – He gave me a gun and took me to where the prophets hang out" he swallowed "luckily his little sister was there so I didn't have to go through with it, but I have to do it – he says I have to"
