Who I've become (fiction)

Part 6

He gave me hope when there was nothing to be hopeful for. I thought he was different. He did not only hear me he listened. He danced with emotions swirling them around dipping them and then accidentally dropping then and while he was trying to pick them up he stomped on them. He made me happy but he also crushed me inside.

He would ask if I'm ok but I'm not I would always say I'm fine so he would not worry but he knew I was not. He would always say "I know you're not you're a terrible liar," I thought I was a good liar because everytime I would say that my friends would just ignore me after that. Maybe they just don't care. Actually, I know they did not care because they have their own problems to care about, but he does to and a lot more than them and he still had time to worry about me.

I got so close to giving up. I was starving myself for a while to impress him. I followed him around so he would notice me. I sang all the time to get better and now my voice could be damaged. I wanted him so badly only to figure out he's like every other guy he's obsessed with skinny little white girls with pretty little faces and long blond hair he does not want no girl that's insecure.

I was going to give up. I pretty much did for a while. I let my grades slip, I only ate a little bit of dinner for 2 months I dropped 30 pounds, I started to burn my wrists, I let all the boys touch my but all they wanted, and I stopped communicating with my friends. I barely talked to my friends. I told them nothing.

If you keep all your thought inside you will eventually explode. I exploded in math class. I yelled at him for tapping his pencil so lightly only I would have heard it and burst into tears and ran out of the room. I lost a friend that day. Everyone thought it was because of him but it was not him it was me. To him I apologize, I made him look bad I'm so sorry.

I thought if I was skinny he would like me more. I soon figured out he does not care about those things. He wanted someone to talk to, we talked every day, he wanted someone who would not only listen but hear, I tried to that, he needed someone that cared, no one could care more about him than me.