5sos Imagines (ig//@valentiineafi)

Imagine 1 - Anxiety

     You sat on the floor of your room, leaning against the bed. You had just gotten home, but you didn't feel well at all. You didn't even get to lock your door; you just rushed to your room.
     Not now, you hoped. You couldn't let this happen right now. It was already late at night, and no one would be awake.
     Your hands shook uncontrollably, your head spinning. All of a sudden, your lungs seemed too small to fit all the oxygen you needed to survive at this moment. Your breaths were unstable and were a struggle to control. You could barely see through your tears, and all you focused on was staying alive.
     You worried about how you could ever survive this one, but you couldn't do much. You hated that; the fact that you were helpless.
     With each second that passed, it got harder to breathe. It got harder to focus on staying as calm as possible; anything just to stay alive. You felt it rapidly growing in severity, this panic attack completely taking over your body.
     You leaned your head back onto the foot of your bed, tangling your hands in your hair. You tugged on it, just trying to drown out everything else that was happening. Your shaky hands kept slipping due to their sweat, so you had to keep readjusting them. The feeling of completely passing out was right at your fingertips, the humidity and sweat building up on your skin not helping at all.
     All the air that you got seemed stuck in your throat, and nothing but tears were coming out of you. They were continuously rolling down your cheeks, but you had no energy to wipe them dry. Even if you wanted to, you doubted that you were able to. You didn't know anymore if you had any control over your own body. You knew you needed help; you couldn't do this alone. You needed him; seemingly the only person able to calm you down in moments like these.
     With shaky, sweaty hands, you grabbed your phone. After typing in your password, you looked for his contact - Calum's. You could only hope that he was awake. Otherwise, you didn't know what you'd do.
     Tears fell onto the screen of your phone, wetting the surface. They blurred your vision, but still you tried your best to click on your boyfriend's name. You held your phone next to your ear, while your other hand stayed tangled in your hair. Thankfully, after only two rings, he answered.
     "Hello?" he called out.
     "C- Cal- Calum," you barely choked out.
     "Lea, what's going on? Is everything alright?" he asked worriedly.
     "No, p- please Cal... I'm sorry- for bothering you... I can't-" you stuttered through your tears. You couldn't even complete a sentence, but he knew you well enough to understand.
     "Hang in there, Lea. I'm coming, okay?" he reassured.
     "The door's unlocked," I whispered.
     "Okay, babe. You'll be alright, I promise. I'm coming there now. I love you," he said.
     "I lo- love you," you said. Then, he hung up. A part of you wished that he hadn't, though, because now you were all alone again.
Before you knew it, you heard the door opening, then your name being called.
     "Lea?" he called out. "Lea, where are you?"
     "I'm in here," you whispered, obviously not being heard. Once he found you, he ran to you right away. Your body was shaking, your elbows on your your knees as you stared at nothing in particular. Your state hasn't gotten better yet, but you still felt some aspect of relief at the fact that Calum was now here with you.
     You didn't have the time to do or say anything before you were wrapped in his arms. He sat down beside you on the ground, then pulled you onto his lap immediately. You wrapped your arms around him, then dug your face and cried into his neck.
     "I'm sorry for waking you up," you cried, still trying to catch your breath.
     "Shh," he cooed. Your shoulders shook as you breathed, still not getting enough air. He had one arm wrapped securely around your torso, while the other hand reassuringly stroked your hair. His chin rested on your head, kissing it occasionally in an attempt to calm you down.
     You cherished times like this. It was where you felt the safest. You held him tighter than you ever had, trying to be as close to him as possible. No words were shared between you two. Suddenly, breaking through the sound of your soft cries, he started singing quietly beside your ear.
     "Can you be my nightingale?" he sang sweetly, just above a whisper. It was very quiet, but the perfect volume just for you. "Sing to me, my nightingale. You could be my sanity, bring me peace; sing me to sleep..."
     By now you were calm. Your eyes were shut, your face still buried into his warm neck. Your breathing was steady and your arms were still wrapped tightly around him. He kissed your head as he felt you calm down.
     "Can you be my nightingale..." he finished. He felt your grip loosen, signifying that you were asleep. He gently picked you up, then set you on the bed. He changed your shirt into one of his larger ones that you kept in your drawer. Then, he tucked you under the blanket and kissed your head. This woke you up. Before walking out of the door, he heard you speak up.
     "Stay with me please."