There's No Such Thing As Happy Endings - Book Three of the Why I Run Series

Chapter Fifteen

Point of View: PATTON, First Person
Timeline: Present Day

I couldn't help gasping as Virgil and Ollie went THROUGH THE MIRROR OH MY GOSH!

THAT WAS REALLY FRICKEN COOL!!!!!!

I turned around to tell Logan such, before remembering that I was still supposed to be really mad at him.

... Was I mad at him? I dunno anymore.  I'm just... just so tired of all the other sides - Logan especially - treating me like I can't make my own decisions and stuff. 

And... and the fact that one of my KIDDOS DIED cuz of it? Maybe I could have shaken Virgil out of... whatever was wrong with him when he killed Roman or... or.. I dunno.  

Anything woulda been better than sittin' here, doing nothin helpful while such awful things happened to two people that I love.

Then again...

I glanced up at Logan, who wasn't look at me, but at Sparks.

But then again, Sparks was trying to chew and steal Logan's shoes.

"Sparks, no," Logan said firmly, taking a step backwards.

But instead of backing off, Sparks took it as a challenge - trying to pounce on his shoes as Logan kept moving backwards, trying not to accidentally step of her.  His slightly panicked expression was just absolutely adorable and I couldn't help the tiny snicker that I escaped me but I covered it with a cough before crouching down.  "Hey Sparks!" I giggled.  "Come 'ere, girl!"

Sparks bounced happily over to me, placing her front paws on my legs, trying to sniff my face.  I giggled, losing my balance and hitting the floor with a small thud and Sparks yelped in surprise before licking my face to make sure I was okay.

I grinned and pet her, only causing her to tag her tail in happiness, hitting me in the leg.  I sat up in criss cross applesauce position and Sparks climbed right into my lap and got comfy, pleased at the attention she was getting.

I glanced up at Logan to see him - wait, was he leaving?

"W-Where are you goin'?" I stammered.  Sure Pat, that'll convince him to take you seriously.  "Virgil and Ollie aren't back yet."

"You might not remember," Logan said, voice quiet and serious, adjusting his glasses. "But we still have an entire storage room filled with sides that are depending on us to save them," Logan reminded me coldly.  "I - I have to go, I - I have to find a way to save them and I don't know how much longer they have.  So you wait here for Virgil and watch over Sparks, I have to go figure this out."

"Wait," I stumbled to my feet, Sparks letting out a small yelp of surprise as I scooped her up in my arms and walked over to Logan.  "Let me help," I argued.

Logan hesitated.  "Patton -"

"Please, please Logic," I begged.  "Please, just let me help - however I can.  Is it too much for me to ask you for to have some faith in me?"

Logan's expression seemed strained and he didn't say anything for a moment.  He looked absolutely torn - wanting me to forgive him and wanting to work alone.

"Under one condition," he bargained, starting to cave.

I nodded hastily. "What condition?"

"You finally forgive me."

I couldn't help hesitating.  Sparks twisted in my arms, as if sensing my hesitation too.

I shook my head, taking a step backwards.  "I can't do that.  Feelings... They don't work like that, Logan."

"Why not?" Logan whispered, voice so broken that I had to look away.  "I - I've been trying, and trying - why are you determined not to forgive me?  I can't - I can't TAKE this, you being so - so MAD with me all the time -"

"I'm not mad at you."

Logan blinked, confused.  "Y-You're not?" he stuttered, eyes blinking quickly.

"Yeah, I'm mad... really mad.  But... no, I'm not mad at you.  Just... I dunno," I whispered, eyes falling shut and hold Sparks closer to my chest.  That didn't even sound strong to my own ears.  "I guess I'm just - just disappointed.  In that you saw me as some helpless guy that needed your protection and that I am too - too... emotional to make smart decisions.  That I... I was stupid... in your eyes."

"Oh, Patton.  I don't think that you're st-"

"Really? Cause I'm having a pretty hard time believing it," I muttered, uncharacteristically dark and I watched Logan wince at my tone.

"Patton," Logan's expression looked pained.  "I didn't want you to go because - because I was selfish and I didn't want to lose you as well," he admitted, taking a step towards me.

I stood there, shell-shocked, as Logan ran hand through his hair - sighing loudly and looked up at the ceiling.

"You mean so much to me, so much Patton.  The idea of losing you... I - I don't know what I would do without you.  And not just because Thomas's needs you, but because I need you," Logan took another step forward.

"You are Thomas's moral compass - but you're so much more than that, a part of Thomas.  You're sweet and kind and loyal and trusting and you forgive people... even those that don't always deserve it," Logan expression turned guilty.

"You are so unabashedly yourself.  And you always fight for what you believe is right and I'm sorry for keeping from being yourself.  I - I love you, Patton.  And I couldn't bear if - if Incubus d-did s-something t-t-to you, if - if he h-hurt -" Logan cut off abruptly, hands in fists at his eyes and holding his breath.  He wasn't blinking - eyes fixated his shoes, occasionally flickering to his own.

"Lo," I whispered, gently lower Sparks to the floor and walking towards him, taking his clenched fists in my hands.  I gave his hands a quick squeeze.  

"If - If you had been in Roman's shoes," Logan choked out, eyes watering.  "If s-something had happened to you, I - I would never be able to live with myself," Logan whispered, eyes flickering up to meet my own - tears already making a track down both my cheeks.  "I couldn't let you go, I couldn't watch that happen to you.  A-And I don't regret it, and I'm so sorry that I don't regret it, but I can't lose you Patton, I can't.  And... I think higher of you than even you could possibly imagine.

"Please Patton, I know that it was wrong.  But you are not just important to Thomas, but to me.  You... remind me of who I am.  And I am nothing without you.  So please, I'm sorry about Roman and of course I wish there was something that could've brought you both out of Incubus attack alive -"

"Logan -"

"But I -"

"Logan!"

Logan blinked in surprise at the uncharacteristic sharpness in my voice as he stumbled into silence blinking at me.  "... Have you forgiven me?"

I hesitated.  "No," I admitted and I hated the way Logan instantly deflated at the words.  "But - But - I... I will, eventually... But that wasn't what I was going to say!  It's about the trapped sides! Please listen, it's important!"

Logan raised his eyebrow expectantly, clearing his throat and... and my heart broke a little, watching as Logan quickly shut down his emotions - so quickly, falling back into robot-mode.  The guy that was just on the brink of tears just a couple of seconds ago was gone, replaced by something cold and closed off, again.

Gosh, I hated doing that but this was too important.  

"Apologizes, you have my attention, Patton," Logan waved a hand, gesturing for me to explain.

"Sorry, Lo, but I have an idea," I couldn't help bouncing on my feet. "The sides," I whispered excitedly.  "I have an idea of how to set them free!"

____________________
HI
SORRY IM LATE (again, whoopsie)
I've been writing so flippin slow lately good gosh, it's absurd how long it been taking me to write chapters lately oof.

I LUV YOU GUYS X3

- Max :)