~A Light in the Shadows~ PRINXIETY FANFIC [EDITING] (temporary cover)

Chapter Six~ I'm So Very Far From Fine

Virgil's POV:

I felt my breathing speed up. I tried not to seem panicked, but on the inside everything was chaos.

'He's onto us! He knows! Oh my god, I messed up. He's gonna hate me forever. He's gonna-'

SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS MESS, NOT ME. STOP COMPLAINING! THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE.

'WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME INTO THIS MESS. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE ME DO IT!"

The voice didn't respond. That fucking asshole. It's the one that made me cut. Now Roman's going to hate me forever.....God, I ruined everything.

"Anxiety?" Roman said, snapping me out of my daze. "Are you okay?"

I wanted to scream out to him. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to ask for his help. I wanted to say 'I'm not okay.'

"Yeah. I'm fine," I said, sighing. My eyes fell to the floor.

.

.

.

There was a long pause. Neither of us knew what to say. There was an elephant in the room. No, a stampede of elephants in the room. We both wanted to say something, but we didn't know what.

"Are you really?" He asked, his voice squeaking slightly. I looked up and there were tears in his eyes. Roman was never one to cry, especially about me. He didn't care that much about me...did he? The whole world became blurry as tears filled my eyes. I shook my head and stared at the floor, tears falling down my face. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him so badly. How do I say it though? How do I-

My thoughts were cut off by a hand lifting my chin. Roman stared into my eyes, his gaze somehow intense yet soft at the same time. I looked at the corner of my room, refusing to make eye contact. I didn't want to look at him. I pulled down my sleeves instinctively, expecting him to check my arms.

'HOLD THE FUCK UP. I'M THE ONLY PERSON WHO CHECKS MY ARMS.......FUCK FUCK FUCK I MESSED EVERYTHING UP. I'M SO FUCKING SCREWED! I-'

And suddenly, I couldn't breathe. This time though, it was different. It was sweet, not scary. It was beautiful. It was amazing. It felt like fireworks were going off in my heart. Suddenly, I could feel again. I wasn't numb anymore. It wasn't a panic attack. It was a kiss. Roman opened his eyes and pulled his face away from mine. His lips felt so warm on mine. I wanted that back. I'm tired of being cold. His beautiful amber eyes sparkled. He must have been trying to figure out what was going through my head. I would tell him, but I don't even know myself. Roman's face went blurry and so did the rest of the world. My face felt hot and I rubbed my cheek with my sleeve. I had no idea I was crying. More and more tears fell until I was sobbing uncontrollably. I had no idea how to do any of this. I'm just some disorder. I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve his kiss. I don't even deserve to be alive. Roman wrapped me in his arms, holding me tight in a hug. I just sat there and cried like a baby while he attempted to comfort me. All these emotions came out all at once. I was sad, angry, confused, lonely. Most of all, I was afraid. What would happen when he found out about everything? Would he ever want to do this again? Would he even be able to look at me again?

"Shhhh. It's okay, Anxiety. I'm here now," He said, hugging me tighter. I just let the tears flow, ignoring how much his hug hurt. He must have felt me wince slightly because he loosened his grip on me. I pulled him back into the hug, not letting him leave.

'I love you, Roman. Please don't let go.'

A/N

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT FINALLY HAPPENED! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYAYAY

.

.

.

I'm probably more excited about this than you guys, but whatever. See y'all in the next chaptet!