I folded the paper and smoothed out all the edges to get a perfect paper airplane. I repeated the process to get about seven planes. Walking over to my window, I opened it and stepped onto the fire escape. I held up the planes one by one, and let th...
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"You can't see me crumbling, you don't know what you did. Now I can sink or swim. But I'm nearly drowning..."
~~~
Paisley's POV
I numbly pulled on an over-sized sweater for school and stared blankly at my reflection. The weekend had passed in a blur of nothingness-- and school had suddenly sprung on me again. I don't think I'm ready to face anyone, yet.
I staggered dazedly down the apartment hallway-- eyes unfocused on any particular object. Not up to walking, I took the subway to Midtown. The courtyard in front of the school felt like it stretched for miles and miles.
Finally reaching the school, I headed to my first period class in a stupor. Ella passed me in the hallway and waved at me, but I could only muster a half-hearted salute. I don't think I'd be able to handle her permanent cheery mood-- not when my world felt like it was breaking.
I kept my gaze on the floor, watching as my red vans shuffled against the white tiles. My eyes started to prick with tears at the sight of the exact shade of red I had memorized so well. I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued on, wanting to collapse with every step.
I let out a gasp as my shoulder bumped another student. "Sorry." I mumbled as I tried to scurry off. A hand suddenly reached out to grab my wrist-- causing my mind to replay the moment on the roof. My gaze quickly snapped up to identify my attacker as I shook my hand free.
It was Peter.
I was confused. My heart didn't skip it's usual beat, nor did butterflies start fluttering around in my stomach. "H-hey, Paiz- Paisley. Are you okay?" I looked up to see Peter's eyebrows furrowed in concern. His chocolate colored eyes seemed kind of sad.
To be honest, he, himself, looked like he has had a couple of bad days. Dark bags underlined his sad eyes, and unbrushed hair matted against his forehead. He was wearing a over-sized tee-- different from his normal sweater and button-up.
I drawed my eyes back to his, I absentmindedly nodded a 'yes'. I quickly turned and briskly walked to my classroom.
I entered English and winced at the bright windows. It was usually sunny and hot-- it was as if the universe was mocking me.
The classes seemed to drag on and I couldn't do anything but let my brain wander to 'what if'. What if I hadn't have said anything? What if he revealed himself earlier? I tried to get my mind off of him, I really did. But everything reminded me of Spiderman.
I slowly headed to the cafeteria as Ella rambled my ear off about Jace. I just nodded and smiled, with it not quite reaching my eyes. We went up for our trays, then hurried to our normal table.
As we sat down I felt as if someone was watching me. I slowly turned my head to make eye contact with my long time crush's heated stare. As he came to realization that I had spotted him-- he quickly turned away his head.
"Paisley, are you listening?" My gaze snapped to Ella's at the mention of my name.
"I'm sorry, go ahead." I nodded for her to keep telling her story as I fidgeted with an apple in my hands. I didn't want to bring down her happy mood with my moping.
"You've been acting really off today, are you okay."
"El, I'm fine." I replied with a shrug.
"Everyone knows that when someone says their fine-- they really aren't, so you best be getting to spill the tea." At this comment I felt a small genuine smile flit across my face. I was about to reply but the suddenly, the bell rang and caught me off guard.
"I-I'll tell you later." I say as I make my way to my next period.
~~~
I stumbled back into my apartment and dropped my backpack onto the living room floor. I staggered into my bedroom but paused at the open window. This was the time I usually made my airplanes.
I walked to the window and slowly lowered the glass until it was closed. Everything was now correlated to a memory of him. I hated him for how he could turn my days into nightmares. Yet, I knew I can't truly hate him at all.
I looked around the small apartment, and felt as empty as ever without his presence. How can someone make such a big impact on your life, but disappear without a trace? We didn't have a picture or anything, just a bunch of crinkled notes.
This caused my eyes to drift to the floor, where a shoe-box I had filled with his notes-- was half-kicked under my bed. I closed my eyes and shook my head, deciding to text Ella to come over. I promised her I would tell her what was going on. But really, I just needed a shoulder to cry on.
Ella arrived in less than 10 minutes and unlocked the door (she had a key). As soon as she got in my room I said no words, I just gave her the shoe-box. Ella opened it curiously, and shuffled through it to see all the notes. "Wow, are these all from Spiderman?"
My heart shattered at the name but I nodded, nevertheless. "These are so cool! He gave you notes everyday?" I took a deep breath to start the story and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"He did f-for a while, but one day I invited him in," Ella let out a gasp at the thought of me meeting him, "and then he started coming everyday." I felt tears start to prick my eyes as I continued.
"T-then he k-kissed me." I continued telling her about the days he would come, and how we would cuddle or kiss-- and how everything was perfect.
"But I messed everything up!" I cried as I fell against her shoulder. Ella's eyes widened and tears started flowing down my face. She soothingly rubbed circles on my back and waited before she asked me a question.
"What happened?"
"H-he took m-me on a d-date, a-and..." I couldn't even finish my sentence without sobs racking throughout my body. "I asked h-him to take o-off his mask."
Her eyebrows furrowed as she held me at an arm's length away. "You didn't do anything wrong." She stated simply. Did she not hear anything I just said? I was selfish, I wanted to be with him all the time-- mask on or off.
"W-what?" I stuttered as I wiped my eyes with my long sleeves.
"How did he think he could be with you, if he didn't let you know who he was? Sure, it could be dangerous-- but couldn't be more dangerous than people, or villains, seeing him crawl in your room, in costume may I add, every night. Don't beat yourself up about it." She ranted. Ella seemed to be fuming as she furiously mumbled underneath her breath.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "He's not worth it anyway. He doesn't deserve your tears, Paisley. I can't believe I ever fangirled over him." She said with an eye-roll. I believe the last part I wasn't supposed to hear.
"Come on, let's go get some ice-cream." Ella said as she pulled me up. I let out a shy nod and followed her out the room.
