Everything in Between

What Is This Mess

I got three words for this one. Just three.

This. Is. Shit.

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"Orihime I can't control my hollow any more I have to leave!" Ichigo cried out, tears streamed out of his eyes. "No you can't go! You have too much here, your family, friends, and me." Orihime exclaimed sorrowfully. "Please don't go." She said softly as tears pricked at her eyes. "Orihime I love you so very much, and you know that very well, but you should also remember that I said that if I ever felt that I was a threat to you I would leave. I'll be back as soon as I get it under control, so wait for me. Please." Ichigo begged tearfully. Tears now poured down Orihime's cheeks. She knew he needed to leave. She knew he could hurt and have no recollection of it due to the hollow. But she also knew that she loved him and wanted him to stay anyway. "Would you be scared if I became a hollow? Would you be scared if I were a monster?" Ichigo asked out of the blue. "Would you turn your back on me?" "No! Never, I love you, you know that, and because I love I wouldn't be scared and I wouldn't turn on you!" Orihime replied quickly. Ichigo looked down and shook his head. "I can't do this anymore Hime, being part hollow, but it's part of who I am and I can't get rid of it. In order for me to be with you I need my hollow under control. At this point the Vaizards would be no help, I've advanced farther than they ever had, so they have no insight of what I could do. I have to go to Hueco Mundo to understand this better. I'm sick of going back and forth between feeling so sure of your safety, and then so uncertain that I can't be around you without feeling as if I'll hurt you any moment. It's getting to me I'm becoming mentally weak and can't hold my hollow back much longer. Please understand this." Ichigo ranted dejectedly. Orihime couldn't believe her ears. Just how much was he holding in. "You should have told someone! I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner, we could've thought ahead and done something!" Orihime protested tearfully. "I'm sorry, I couldn't worry anyone else with my stupid problems! Everyone else is already worried as hell because of all of this and I want to put an end to it!" Ichigo roared agitatedly. While she knew his blunt anger wasn't directed at her, Orihime couldn't help but flinch. He was distressed, confused, and angry. His anger was directed mainly at himself for not telling someone sooner. What a halfwit ass he's been. But what could he have done that would've made things better? He was a monster and he knew it. He had to leave. Soon. Ichigo clenched his eyes closed, the remaining tears dribbled down his face. "I can't stay, I'm sorry Orihime I need to go now." And with that he pulled her into a tight embrace and said," Look at me Hime," She tilted her head up and looked into his deep chocolate eyes, "I'm sorry," Ichigo tilted his head and gave her a passionate kiss on her lips that mingled with the bitter taste of tears. Ichigo pulled back a moment later and released Orihime from his grip. "Goodbye."