CHAPTER SIX: mama mia!
-
"yeah, yeah...mom can you just—"
"honey i'm just so happy for you! now i know you don't wanna rush things but do you think she'd be okay with coming back to visit with you in a couple weeks?"
telling his mother about finding millie again was beginning to look like a horrible horrible decision.
of course she'd get all hopeful and pushy over things. they weren't even dating or even remotely close that and yet, finn could already hear how his mom was practically radiating over the phone.
"mom!" heat rises to his cheeks embarrassedly, and finn finds a hand brushing through his hair. "listen, it's not like that. really. we're best friends! always have been and always will be."
"you know who my best friend was? your father."
"don't you guilt trip me."
"i'm not!" the woman chuckles over the line and the son can just picture his mom's eyes crinkling in that teasing way of hers. "i'm just trying to help you dear. i...i just don't want you to realize things after it's already too late."
it's a sweet sentiment that makes the boys heart warm and twist strangely in his chest, because in some ways he already feared he was.
"i know mom, i know. listen i gotta go but say hi to dad for me when you go visit him next time okay?" finn says quietly. it's strange how even after how many years it's been since the man's passed, a lump still manages to stick to the back of his throat if he thinks to much about him.
he hears her sigh gently against the device and he can just picture her nodding. "always do dear..please do visit more often. i feel like i never see you."
"i'll be there in a couple weeks mom. love you."
"love you too sweetheart. buh bye."
the call ends and finn feels guilt curl softly at him; like a bath of cold water trickling down his spine. truth is: it's too hard to visit and it makes finn want to yell at how he should be stronger than this, but he's not.
he's deep, soulful, and sensitive in a way that sometimes brings the worst cowardly thoughts back.
he's a coward. yeah, that's the word.
he can barely admit to himself (let alone tell her) he's been in love with millie for as long as he can remember.
it's easier to never say something you'll regret than to regret anything at all. nothing promised.
but some days it's so hard.
the words are just burning and he swears the next words could be those very precise three. like if he doesn't say it it might just kill him, but he just...can't and either way it's already weathering away at his soul.
it's easy to love her in a way.
millie's soft and warm; like a blanket in a peculiar way.
YOU ARE READING
pact promises
Fanfiction- "...but what about our pact millie? you promised remember?" she sighs, her eyes gleaming oh so differently than he had remembered from all those years ago. might as well have been lifetimes now that he really looks at the young woman. "we were kid...
