pact promises

why did it have to be me?

CHAPTER TEN: i couldn't help it, it had to be you and i

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finn's knuckles felt like they could crack under the pressure he was putting them in, his grip tight and hurtful as he clenched them.

how could he let her go again? why couldn't she just understand a single word to what he was saying? she was just so unbelievably stubborn.

finn lost her somewhere between the restaurant and the old blue park, barely being able to keep up with the small girl as she continued to run.

"god damnit!" he cursed lowly, finally racing up the porch as his mother's house came into view. his hands were shaking. it felt like his blood was rushing and coursing at a speed he couldn't properly handle, but he made them knock on the wooden door anyways.

"mom! god—please open!"

his knuckles were starting to hurt again.

the door swings open and finn doesn't even bother explaining what's happened; what on earth had made him so tense and distressed. "have you seen millie? did she come by?"

mary shakes her head, having never been more confused than she had been now. "honey what's wrong? you look flushed."

her son only clicks his tongue, rushing to his room hastily where—yup. millie stuff is gone. everything she'd brought packed away as if it's never been there in the first place, leaving only the window open.

finn's chest tightens and breaks all at the same time. "fuck! FUCK! god damnit, she came through the window!" he should have known. she'd had a habit of climbing in and out his window ever since she was seven.

"kid calm down you're starting to freak me out! what happened?" his mom snaps, hitting his shoulder, pushing him to the bed. his muscles tense and it takes all his will power to not just run out the house and chase after where ever millie might be. "she left mom. millie left."

"what do you mean she left?"

"i mean," his voice breaks, "she's gone. she left me again, all alone." the feeling at the base of his throat begins to tighten and for a second it's like all the oxygen has cut itself off from his body, simply not letting the air flow through his lungs. he feels his mom's touch at the back of his hand briefly, clasping their fingers together for some motherly comfort, her voice sounding faint past the blood rushing after his ears.

"why? what happened?"

it takes a little while to capture his breath back to normal. "you were right," finn whispers after a hesitating moment, "something did happen with us."

"kid...you're scaring me, calm down and tell me what exactly happened."

"we...we kissed the other day at the creek."

"i think i could have gathered that much," mary quips quietly, but her words are still soft spoken, tightening her grip sturdily. it calms him. but only slightly.

"she didn't wanna talk about it. she couldn't even look me in the eye without looking like she'd regretted it mom. i-i mean she literally ran off in the restaurant! didn't even want to hear how i felt or let alone explain how she herself did!"