now that you're gone • theo raeken [1½]

»sixteen«

JOURNAL

NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE

something's changed.
my dreams are starting to haunt me
while i'm awake.
i can see her at school.
just standing at the end of the hall.
her hair's dripping so much a pool
of water is puddling under her feet.

the others are starting to notice
the difference in me.
i think they feel as if
i'm slipping back into my old ways.
i'm afraid they might be right.
i feel like nobody can help me.
not even liam.
no one else can see her, so
i feel like she's not real.
but it's not the first time i've seen
her in the real world.
she's standing over me
as i write this.

i should've never told anyone.
now that i tried to be someone i'm not,
a person who could be okay,
she shows up in more than just my dreams.
but i don't want to be afraid anymore.
i want to face my demons and tell them
to fuck off.
i want to be someone completely different.
i want to be strong.